from Fat Knowledge
excellent article
...
The aim of Western economics is to maximize "standard of living" by the amount of annual consumption, with more being better.
The aim of Buddhist economics is to maximize well-being while minimizing consumption.
An industrial system which uses 40% of the world's primary resources to supply less than 6% of the world's population could be called efficient only if it obtained strikingly successful results in terms of human happiness, well-being, culture, peace and harmony.
Monday, October 29, 2007
Tuesday, October 23, 2007
Pursuing too much happiness
from the Los Angeles Times
Storm clouds on the horizon? Been feeling kind of blue? Then count your blessings. It turns out that there's such a thing as too much happiness.
A new study published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology suggests that those lucky few who enjoy high levels of well-being -- and I assume that includes large swaths of the newspaper reading public -- can reach the point of diminishing returns. In other words, the people with the most positive attitudes toward their lives tend to enjoy the little things that happen to them on a daily basis less than those who have lower overall expectations of life. When you're happy, it seems, positive daily events lose their impact.
Does that mean the more content we are, the more we become, in the words of Pink Floyd, "comfortably numb?" Not exactly.
The study's authors found that general contentment -- defined broadly as having more good things happen to you then bad -- can give the inevitable negative events in your life more weight. That helps explain why studies find so few people report being "very happy," and why the very happy rarely remain that way for long. You see, if good things happen to you a lot, they consequently affect you less, and bad things, which you're frankly not used to, tend to affect you all the more. So, in order to keep being a very happy person, you'd have to constantly improve the ratio of positive to negative events in your life, and that's hard to do, particularly because you're also spending a lot of time and energy just getting over the negative events that irritate you so much.
So have we reached a plateau of well-being and happiness? Is it possible that everything in every way won't just keep getting better and better? Absolutely. Happiness surveys of Americans have been stagnant for decades. But that doesn't discourage the happiness industry, which makes big bucks promising to teach us how to live more pleasurable, fulfilled lives. Quite the contrary. From all accounts, the search for happiness is more intense than it has ever been. And that's creating brand new problems.
"We've invented a new type of unhappiness," says Darrin M. McMahon, a professor of history at Florida State University and the author of "Happiness: A History." "Now we have the unhappiness of not being happy."
It'd be easy to blame it all on consumerism. But it's not just that today's most successful consumer brands tell us relentlessly that their products will help us achieve happiness. It's that the very pursuit of it is part and parcel of our identity as Americans. Before the Enlightenment, happiness was understood to be the province of the virtuous few. But starting in the 17th century, men such as John Locke let the cat out of the bag and proclaimed that "the business of man is to be happy in the world." No one clung to that doctrine more fervently than Americans, whose forefathers even codified it in their nation's founding document. And this drive for happiness is, in part, what makes this country so extraordinary.
But once we reach the point of diminishing returns, won't our high expectations of happiness hurt us? Well, yes and no. On the one hand, the drive for happiness keeps us striving for fulfillment and for new ways to solve the world's problems. But on the other hand, according to the new study, it may also undermine our ability to respond to negative events. Remember Osama bin Laden's taunt: Americans have gone soft. I don't think he's right but, as the study suggests, we don't respond well to bad things that happen to us.
You can see it in our public policy as we overreact to tragedies and under-react to long-term threats on the horizon. High expectations for future happiness don't lead to good long-term planning for the inevitable tragedy. Our policymaking tends to be reactive rather than proactive. When bad things happen, the public gets hysterical, then angry; politicians exaggerate, cast blame and scramble for position; and hastily written laws and policies are enacted to put everyone at ease.
The fervent search for happiness may have gotten us where we are, but now that we've reached the point of diminishing returns, it's time to inject a healthy sense of tragedy into our worldview. Read Hawthorne and Melville -- they'll show you that it's just as strong in the American character as the pursuit of happiness. At the very least, a nod to the dark side will make us smarter. We won't be so surprised the next time tragedy strikes.
Storm clouds on the horizon? Been feeling kind of blue? Then count your blessings. It turns out that there's such a thing as too much happiness.
A new study published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology suggests that those lucky few who enjoy high levels of well-being -- and I assume that includes large swaths of the newspaper reading public -- can reach the point of diminishing returns. In other words, the people with the most positive attitudes toward their lives tend to enjoy the little things that happen to them on a daily basis less than those who have lower overall expectations of life. When you're happy, it seems, positive daily events lose their impact.
Does that mean the more content we are, the more we become, in the words of Pink Floyd, "comfortably numb?" Not exactly.
The study's authors found that general contentment -- defined broadly as having more good things happen to you then bad -- can give the inevitable negative events in your life more weight. That helps explain why studies find so few people report being "very happy," and why the very happy rarely remain that way for long. You see, if good things happen to you a lot, they consequently affect you less, and bad things, which you're frankly not used to, tend to affect you all the more. So, in order to keep being a very happy person, you'd have to constantly improve the ratio of positive to negative events in your life, and that's hard to do, particularly because you're also spending a lot of time and energy just getting over the negative events that irritate you so much.
So have we reached a plateau of well-being and happiness? Is it possible that everything in every way won't just keep getting better and better? Absolutely. Happiness surveys of Americans have been stagnant for decades. But that doesn't discourage the happiness industry, which makes big bucks promising to teach us how to live more pleasurable, fulfilled lives. Quite the contrary. From all accounts, the search for happiness is more intense than it has ever been. And that's creating brand new problems.
"We've invented a new type of unhappiness," says Darrin M. McMahon, a professor of history at Florida State University and the author of "Happiness: A History." "Now we have the unhappiness of not being happy."
It'd be easy to blame it all on consumerism. But it's not just that today's most successful consumer brands tell us relentlessly that their products will help us achieve happiness. It's that the very pursuit of it is part and parcel of our identity as Americans. Before the Enlightenment, happiness was understood to be the province of the virtuous few. But starting in the 17th century, men such as John Locke let the cat out of the bag and proclaimed that "the business of man is to be happy in the world." No one clung to that doctrine more fervently than Americans, whose forefathers even codified it in their nation's founding document. And this drive for happiness is, in part, what makes this country so extraordinary.
But once we reach the point of diminishing returns, won't our high expectations of happiness hurt us? Well, yes and no. On the one hand, the drive for happiness keeps us striving for fulfillment and for new ways to solve the world's problems. But on the other hand, according to the new study, it may also undermine our ability to respond to negative events. Remember Osama bin Laden's taunt: Americans have gone soft. I don't think he's right but, as the study suggests, we don't respond well to bad things that happen to us.
You can see it in our public policy as we overreact to tragedies and under-react to long-term threats on the horizon. High expectations for future happiness don't lead to good long-term planning for the inevitable tragedy. Our policymaking tends to be reactive rather than proactive. When bad things happen, the public gets hysterical, then angry; politicians exaggerate, cast blame and scramble for position; and hastily written laws and policies are enacted to put everyone at ease.
The fervent search for happiness may have gotten us where we are, but now that we've reached the point of diminishing returns, it's time to inject a healthy sense of tragedy into our worldview. Read Hawthorne and Melville -- they'll show you that it's just as strong in the American character as the pursuit of happiness. At the very least, a nod to the dark side will make us smarter. We won't be so surprised the next time tragedy strikes.
Friday, October 19, 2007
Two Types of Happiness
from
There are two kinds of happiness:
–First, there’s the feeling of happiness, which we might describe by saying, “I am in a happy mood.”
–Second, there’s the level of satisfaction we feel toward the way our lives are going, which we might describe by saying, “I am a happy person. ”
Yes, the two types of happiness are related, but no, they are not the same thing. And yes, the distinction matters.
If you’re curious about why it matters, consider the case of parenthood. Studies have shown that women are less happy when taking care of children than they are when doing most anything else, including eating and exercising. On one level, this should come as no surprise, since taking care of children is hard work. But on another level, it’s quite shocking, since almost every mother claims to be happy she had children.
Are all these mothers lying?
In a word: No.
The discrepancy is caused by the difference between the moment-to-moment feeling of happiness and the holistic evaluation of our lives. In other words, we find parenthood to be rewarding and meaningful, despite its day-to-day aggravations; we mean it when we say we’re happy we chose to have children, just like we mean it when we say we’d rather be riding a treadmill than changing diapers.
Put more simply, feeling happy depends upon an immediate sense of pleasure, while life satisfaction hinges more upon meaning and purpose.
Keeping in mind the difference between these two types of happiness, here are a few tips to boost each:
The Present-Tense Emotion of Happiness
1. Be Thankful: Once a day, remind yourself of all the things you have to be thankful for: relationships, shelter, food, family, and whatever else makes you feel happy to be alive. Research has shown that taking time to be thankful for blessings has an immediate (and often powerful) affect upon happiness.
2. Think Positive: While it’s important to be mindful of the negative forces in the world, many people fixate upon these to the exclusion of all that his pleasant and good. Remember, there are just as many positive influences in the world as negative; our fixation upon the negative is a matter of choice.
3. Attitude Adjustment: Avoid self-destructive attitudes, such as jealousy, persecution complex, perfectionism, and lack of accountability.
4. Be Nice: Research has shown that boosting someone else’s happiness boosts your own too. Be friendly. Wear a smile. Be charitable. Lend a helping hand. What goes around really does come around.
Overall Life Satisfaction
5. Develop and Nurture Relationships: A study conducted at the University of Illinois by Diener and Seligman found that happy people tend to have strong friendships and family ties. This comes as no surprise, since we are social creatures, and it’s natural for us to derive joy from the company of others. Cultivate your social skills. Make time for friends and family, especially if those relationships tend to be positive and uplifting.
6. Pursue a Meaningful Career: Inject meaning into your life by learning to follow your passion: that internal compass, guiding you toward fulfillment. Read my synergy series of articles for more information; if you disagree with my approach for discovering purpose, pioneer your own.
7. Ask Yourself Why: “Why” seems to be the critical question for unlocking the hidden purpose and meaning in our lives. Why do you work? Why are you considering marriage? Why do you want to have children? Why are you making a particular decision? Living a particular way? Keep asking yourself this critical question and you just might find a way to answer it in a fulfilling and meaningful way.
8. Set Meaningful Goals: Also key to the concept of a meaningful life is the anticipation that we feel for the things we hope to accomplish in the future. Set meaningful short and long-term goals. You’ll be happier for it, both today and tomorrow.
The quest for a happier life has been recognized by philosphers and psychologists alike as being of the highest caliber, but there’s no question that it’s an ongoing process, more about the journey than the destination. But if the happiness equation is solved on two fronts — the emotional and the circumstantial — the journey can indeed be happier.
There are two kinds of happiness:
–First, there’s the feeling of happiness, which we might describe by saying, “I am in a happy mood.”
–Second, there’s the level of satisfaction we feel toward the way our lives are going, which we might describe by saying, “I am a happy person. ”
Yes, the two types of happiness are related, but no, they are not the same thing. And yes, the distinction matters.
If you’re curious about why it matters, consider the case of parenthood. Studies have shown that women are less happy when taking care of children than they are when doing most anything else, including eating and exercising. On one level, this should come as no surprise, since taking care of children is hard work. But on another level, it’s quite shocking, since almost every mother claims to be happy she had children.
Are all these mothers lying?
In a word: No.
The discrepancy is caused by the difference between the moment-to-moment feeling of happiness and the holistic evaluation of our lives. In other words, we find parenthood to be rewarding and meaningful, despite its day-to-day aggravations; we mean it when we say we’re happy we chose to have children, just like we mean it when we say we’d rather be riding a treadmill than changing diapers.
Put more simply, feeling happy depends upon an immediate sense of pleasure, while life satisfaction hinges more upon meaning and purpose.
Keeping in mind the difference between these two types of happiness, here are a few tips to boost each:
The Present-Tense Emotion of Happiness
1. Be Thankful: Once a day, remind yourself of all the things you have to be thankful for: relationships, shelter, food, family, and whatever else makes you feel happy to be alive. Research has shown that taking time to be thankful for blessings has an immediate (and often powerful) affect upon happiness.
2. Think Positive: While it’s important to be mindful of the negative forces in the world, many people fixate upon these to the exclusion of all that his pleasant and good. Remember, there are just as many positive influences in the world as negative; our fixation upon the negative is a matter of choice.
3. Attitude Adjustment: Avoid self-destructive attitudes, such as jealousy, persecution complex, perfectionism, and lack of accountability.
4. Be Nice: Research has shown that boosting someone else’s happiness boosts your own too. Be friendly. Wear a smile. Be charitable. Lend a helping hand. What goes around really does come around.
Overall Life Satisfaction
5. Develop and Nurture Relationships: A study conducted at the University of Illinois by Diener and Seligman found that happy people tend to have strong friendships and family ties. This comes as no surprise, since we are social creatures, and it’s natural for us to derive joy from the company of others. Cultivate your social skills. Make time for friends and family, especially if those relationships tend to be positive and uplifting.
6. Pursue a Meaningful Career: Inject meaning into your life by learning to follow your passion: that internal compass, guiding you toward fulfillment. Read my synergy series of articles for more information; if you disagree with my approach for discovering purpose, pioneer your own.
7. Ask Yourself Why: “Why” seems to be the critical question for unlocking the hidden purpose and meaning in our lives. Why do you work? Why are you considering marriage? Why do you want to have children? Why are you making a particular decision? Living a particular way? Keep asking yourself this critical question and you just might find a way to answer it in a fulfilling and meaningful way.
8. Set Meaningful Goals: Also key to the concept of a meaningful life is the anticipation that we feel for the things we hope to accomplish in the future. Set meaningful short and long-term goals. You’ll be happier for it, both today and tomorrow.
The quest for a happier life has been recognized by philosphers and psychologists alike as being of the highest caliber, but there’s no question that it’s an ongoing process, more about the journey than the destination. But if the happiness equation is solved on two fronts — the emotional and the circumstantial — the journey can indeed be happier.
Saturday, October 13, 2007
The knowledge: how to be happy
from the Telegraph
Does contentment always seem just out of reach? The world-renowned clinical psychologist and writer Dorothy Rowe can help you to find it within
Be realistic Stop thinking that happiness is a 'thing' you can make a goal – it's not. Being happy is an emotion. We can't will it into existence just by wanting to feel it, any more than we can make ourselves feel sad or angry. Happiness is a by-product of what we do
Know the Enemy If you want to be happy, try to identify the conditions that make you feel the opposite. When we feel happy, we're subconsciously saying to ourselves that we feel safe and comfortable in our surroundings – it is the opposite of feeling frightened
advertisement
Interpretation is key It is not what happens to you that leads you to be happy or unhappy, but how you interpret it. My entire professional career is spent reminding people of this. You can decide how to perceive a personal disaster – as a punishment? Sheer chance? Or a challenge you can master? You have complete freedom to choose
Be open-minded There is no one 'right' way of seeing events. Good therapy brings about a realisation that everything we know about the world and ourselves is simply an idea that we have created – and if we have created this idea, we are also free to change it
Accept Yourself It's become a cliché, but it's vital to realise that how we feel about ourselves is central to everything we do. If we are to be happy, we must first learn to like, value and care for ourselves. This is easy to say and hard to do – but learn to accept yourself, and the rest will follow.
Judge Yourself Fairly Be reasonable! Don't judge yourself more harshly than you would anyone else, and stop listening to the inner critic that says you are unworthy. If someone compliments you, accept it
Let Go of Guilt I always say to my clients that the church keeps me in business. All religions encourage us to think that we are not good enough, and society pressures us in the same way. Guilt is something we are taught as children, and it is hard for us to unlearn it – but we can choose to do so
Simple Pleasures Recognise what gives you pleasure, and make time for it – especially if you don't enjoy your work. Ride a bike, spend an evening with friends, or simply stop and stand in your garden. And if going to the gym makes you miserable, don't go
Finding a Balance Let go of the idea that there is a definitive 'balance' to strive for: that alone is enough to make you unhappy! Sometimes you will need to concentrate on work, sometimes on your family – it's a matter of recognising what is appropriate at the time, and not using one as an excuse for avoiding the other
Relax around others Self-consciousness very quickly becomes self-absorption. If all you are thinking about is whether someone likes you or not, it's impossible to pay full attention to what they are actually saying, or feeling. Stop worrying, and start listening
Does contentment always seem just out of reach? The world-renowned clinical psychologist and writer Dorothy Rowe can help you to find it within
Be realistic Stop thinking that happiness is a 'thing' you can make a goal – it's not. Being happy is an emotion. We can't will it into existence just by wanting to feel it, any more than we can make ourselves feel sad or angry. Happiness is a by-product of what we do
Know the Enemy If you want to be happy, try to identify the conditions that make you feel the opposite. When we feel happy, we're subconsciously saying to ourselves that we feel safe and comfortable in our surroundings – it is the opposite of feeling frightened
advertisement
Interpretation is key It is not what happens to you that leads you to be happy or unhappy, but how you interpret it. My entire professional career is spent reminding people of this. You can decide how to perceive a personal disaster – as a punishment? Sheer chance? Or a challenge you can master? You have complete freedom to choose
Be open-minded There is no one 'right' way of seeing events. Good therapy brings about a realisation that everything we know about the world and ourselves is simply an idea that we have created – and if we have created this idea, we are also free to change it
Accept Yourself It's become a cliché, but it's vital to realise that how we feel about ourselves is central to everything we do. If we are to be happy, we must first learn to like, value and care for ourselves. This is easy to say and hard to do – but learn to accept yourself, and the rest will follow.
Judge Yourself Fairly Be reasonable! Don't judge yourself more harshly than you would anyone else, and stop listening to the inner critic that says you are unworthy. If someone compliments you, accept it
Let Go of Guilt I always say to my clients that the church keeps me in business. All religions encourage us to think that we are not good enough, and society pressures us in the same way. Guilt is something we are taught as children, and it is hard for us to unlearn it – but we can choose to do so
Simple Pleasures Recognise what gives you pleasure, and make time for it – especially if you don't enjoy your work. Ride a bike, spend an evening with friends, or simply stop and stand in your garden. And if going to the gym makes you miserable, don't go
Finding a Balance Let go of the idea that there is a definitive 'balance' to strive for: that alone is enough to make you unhappy! Sometimes you will need to concentrate on work, sometimes on your family – it's a matter of recognising what is appropriate at the time, and not using one as an excuse for avoiding the other
Relax around others Self-consciousness very quickly becomes self-absorption. If all you are thinking about is whether someone likes you or not, it's impossible to pay full attention to what they are actually saying, or feeling. Stop worrying, and start listening
Wednesday, October 3, 2007
Why Am I Unhappy?
from a post at Progressive U - I think that I have seen this elsewhere.
The following is an extremely long, but serious post. Read at your own discretion.
It's a question that plagues many, many people. However, we should probably first define our terms. Handy dictionary.com never fails!
happiness
1. the quality or state of being happy.
2. good fortune; pleasure; contentment; joy.
unhappiness
1. sad; miserable; wretched: Why is she so unhappy?
2. unfortunate; unlucky: an unhappy incident.
3. unfavorable; inauspicious: an unhappy omen.
4. infelicitous; unsuitable: an unhappy choice of words.
That's a funny coincidence in the first one for unhappiness, which is the main idea we're dealing with.
Believe or not, most people don't consciously ask this question. They go about their daily lives in drudgery with no real purpose, ideal, drive, or satisfaction in who, what they are, what they do, and why they do it. It's just the daily grind--just imagine the stereotypical unhappy American dream. Why don't these people ask this question? It's usually just because they're busy. Busy with their uninteresting lives--by work, by television, by ice cream, by their friends whom they laugh with but soon get the blues right after departing. It's in times when they have nothing on the brain, nothing to think about, that they realize that they are unhappy.
And then they ask: "Why am I doing this?" "Why am I unhappy?" Things like that. A lot of them will shrug their shoulders, and say "well, that's life" and get back to work. Some will say "I don't like this, but I don't know how to solve it--it must be a default to be unhappy." Some will say "I'm not ignorant, I know the world, I'm old now so I can't be happy now that I know what the world is like". But yet, some with the tougher stuff with it will simply choose to be happy.
Many of you will say, "But wait, choose to be happy? It's not that simple." You may add, "How can I be happy when my life is this, that, this, that, and this bad?" The answer is just another question. It's your same exact question. How can you be happy when your life is this, that, this, that, and this bad? Some problems, however, cannot be just fixed so easily. I know that. I'll get to that later, though.
What most people realize, for your run-of-the-mill unhappiness, unfulfillment, unsatisfying, drudge-life, being happy is as simple as choosing to be happy. But there may be another question to do with it: "Why should I choose to be happy?"
No matter what way you look at it, happiness is the ultimate reason to live. The ultimate goal for life--unless you are guided by a personal purpose (or a religious purpose, if that's your thing), which sometimes overshoots that--is to be happy. Let's break it down.
If you're alive, there is no reason to be unhappy. None. At. All. You may say, "but this and that are keeping me down, putting me in a bad mood, making me unhappy!" So what? Nobody says you have to be unhappy about it. Logically, there is absolutely no reason to be unhappy about most of your problems. Nearly all of our problems are completely, absolutely petty in the big picture, and quite silly--and we hold on to them tightly. If you're living, and you are unhappy, there is no point. If you believe there is no afterlife, then the best thing you can do is enjoy your experience while you are here. If you believe there is no afterlife and that when you die there will be no memories to relate to (it makes sense but is much colder), so your experiences here are completely irrelevant--take the time and be happy anyway. Enjoy it while you can. If you believe in an afterlife, then wouldn't living your life the best way you can (which, should at least be satisfying in your purpose if not joyous, if you consider yourself the type of religious person who must sacrifice everything to show yourself as worthy of your God), happily, the best thing you could possibly do? There are finer details to this (such as physiological improvements, mental health, awareness, empathy and some more), but this general idea covers it pretty well.
I should probably make a distinction here: the difference between pain and suffering. Pain is the sharp stab of a fresh wound, and is completely valid. You can't evade pain--it's just something you have to deal with. It's possible to numb it, but it often just stores itself inside instead of going away, and turns into suffering. Suffering is that low, dull, unnecessary ache that you feel in the back of your head, or sometimes as an overwhelming stupor. Depression, lack of satisfaction, no fulfillment--those are often due to suffering, and vise versa.
Many people don't realize that they can CHOOSE to be happy. A few reasons they believe are as follow:
"I'm supposed to be unhappy; that's the way life is." This doesn't even begin to make sense. Who says this is the way life is?
"I can't just be happy." This is also untrue; you can, in fact, just be happy. It can be difficult, but it's definitely possible.
"I don't deserve to be happy." Whether it's guilt or shame (but they're both kind of the same), you DO deserve to be happy. Everybody deserves to be happy (I won't speak on "evil people" yet, that's a deeper moral conflict which needs to be considered in its own topic).
There's also another reason a lot of people don't want to admit: they want to be unhappy. They've become so used to it, so familiar with it, that it's all they know--and they cling to it. This is often the case with people who are self-pitying, or self-important and loathsome of others.
Yet another reason is just that people don't want to take the responsibility to be happy. That would mean governing themselves! It would take effort! No, they won't do that. It's so much easier to just be unhappy and not do anything. If only they know what it was like to be happy!
But most people don't even know what happiness is. People believe that happiness is what you get when you have a secure life, a home, a family, a nice car, and a well-paying job. Unfortunately, this isn't the case (but sometimes is if you have a really great family life, but that's about the only reason). As a quote goes, "There is no path to happiness. Happiness is the path." That's what most people don't understand--happiness is not something to be achieved. Happiness is a state to be. You don't get happiness when you get a few things--happiness has very little, if not nothing, to do with material possessions.
Happiness by the material is not happiness at all--that's comfort. Often, it can even lead to sloth and further unfulfillment and general distaste, once you finish playing with your toys and realize--oops, you're still not happy. Many rich people are lonely and unhappy, I assure you. That's because money really can't buy happiness-- and don't say drugs, alcohol, or women/men are happiness. In that aspect--they're the same as material entertainment. Not happiness.
So, you might be thinking, "then what the hell is happiness?" True happiness is contentment, joy, self-assured satisfaction in life as it is. This is the kind of happiness that can ride you through life and all its difficulties, if you know how to work it. And there are several ways to do it.
The simplest and easiest way to do it is just through appreciation. Appreciate what you have. Look around at your life--look at everything you have that other people don't have. In fact, look at everything you have that other people do have--because it's possible that you might not have it. If you feel you don't have anything--you do. By the fact that you are reading this blog, this means you have life. Even if you're near suicidal, to the point that you want everything to stop--just think about it. Think about the fact that you can be happy if you really want to.
That leads me to the next way--fix your life. If you have things keeping you down--do everything you can to fight against it, to break free from it! If you don't like your friends, leave your friends. Find new friends. If you have an addiction--break it. If you hate the way things are going--make new goings. If you don't like your job, quit and find a new one. Even if you think you can't do anything--with the drive, anybody can do anything. There is this homeless man who sells bottled water down a busy street--I really love that guy. He posts posters up all along the street, saying great things like "Homeless, but not hopeless"--and when you look at him--you can just tell. He's a happy, striving guy, striving for better things. If he can do it--I'm sure you can. However, a note of warning: if your life situation is dangerous to your well-being, avoid doing things that will get you out of the frying pan and into the fire.
There's another way, which is possible but a bit unnatural seeming to some people--you simply tell yourself you are happy. You emulate happy--you almost force happiness. You shoot down negative thoughts and encourage positive ones--and believe it or not, this works. It works like a charm if you stick with it, but it can be a bit difficult. It also helps you learn to discipline your mind. After you practice this for a while, you realize that almost permanently, your mental composition is changed--and you are happy.
Then, there are more spiritual, transcendant-type ways to be happy. If you're a skeptic or in general not too big on that sort of thing--you don't have to listen. But I'll talk about it a bit in-depth for those of you who do want to hear it--and it's a really big subject, so I'm not going to cover it all here. There's about two or three transcendant/spiritual type ways to become happy. One is realizing that everything in the grand, grand scheme is incredibly, incredibly unimportant and petty. I'm going to get some hate for saying this, but even Hitler's doing--the death of 6 million jews, while horrid, atrocious, and despisable--is, in the grand scheme, unimportant. The stars, the cosmos, the planets and comets don't care--they'd sooner crash into this planet and blow us to bits than care. I can't take something like the Holocaust lightly, being where I am in my mind (and I'm sure many are the same way), but it's incredibly easy to just laugh most of your problems away. It's really quite funny that you're worried about such small issues in the scope of everything.
The second way is part of a long, long journey--straight to the motherload--Enlightenment. It's said that all unhappiness roots from one source: being incomplete. To understand what this means you have to know that everything is one, and seperate existence is an illusion. In pursuing all this, for the skeptic, a good dose of Eastern mysticism, quantum physics and cognitive psychology help a lot in understanding this subject. It's quite a hellhole to deal with, but the benefits are great.
The third is realizing that no matter what, you are completely whole. Your mind may be in pain, your heart may ache, but you--you are whole. But who are you, if not your mind, if not your heart? Think about it. I will cover this in depth in another blog post.
I guess I have nothing more to say on this topic. The rest is up to you. You always have a choice.
The following is an extremely long, but serious post. Read at your own discretion.
It's a question that plagues many, many people. However, we should probably first define our terms. Handy dictionary.com never fails!
happiness
1. the quality or state of being happy.
2. good fortune; pleasure; contentment; joy.
unhappiness
1. sad; miserable; wretched: Why is she so unhappy?
2. unfortunate; unlucky: an unhappy incident.
3. unfavorable; inauspicious: an unhappy omen.
4. infelicitous; unsuitable: an unhappy choice of words.
That's a funny coincidence in the first one for unhappiness, which is the main idea we're dealing with.
Believe or not, most people don't consciously ask this question. They go about their daily lives in drudgery with no real purpose, ideal, drive, or satisfaction in who, what they are, what they do, and why they do it. It's just the daily grind--just imagine the stereotypical unhappy American dream. Why don't these people ask this question? It's usually just because they're busy. Busy with their uninteresting lives--by work, by television, by ice cream, by their friends whom they laugh with but soon get the blues right after departing. It's in times when they have nothing on the brain, nothing to think about, that they realize that they are unhappy.
And then they ask: "Why am I doing this?" "Why am I unhappy?" Things like that. A lot of them will shrug their shoulders, and say "well, that's life" and get back to work. Some will say "I don't like this, but I don't know how to solve it--it must be a default to be unhappy." Some will say "I'm not ignorant, I know the world, I'm old now so I can't be happy now that I know what the world is like". But yet, some with the tougher stuff with it will simply choose to be happy.
Many of you will say, "But wait, choose to be happy? It's not that simple." You may add, "How can I be happy when my life is this, that, this, that, and this bad?" The answer is just another question. It's your same exact question. How can you be happy when your life is this, that, this, that, and this bad? Some problems, however, cannot be just fixed so easily. I know that. I'll get to that later, though.
What most people realize, for your run-of-the-mill unhappiness, unfulfillment, unsatisfying, drudge-life, being happy is as simple as choosing to be happy. But there may be another question to do with it: "Why should I choose to be happy?"
No matter what way you look at it, happiness is the ultimate reason to live. The ultimate goal for life--unless you are guided by a personal purpose (or a religious purpose, if that's your thing), which sometimes overshoots that--is to be happy. Let's break it down.
If you're alive, there is no reason to be unhappy. None. At. All. You may say, "but this and that are keeping me down, putting me in a bad mood, making me unhappy!" So what? Nobody says you have to be unhappy about it. Logically, there is absolutely no reason to be unhappy about most of your problems. Nearly all of our problems are completely, absolutely petty in the big picture, and quite silly--and we hold on to them tightly. If you're living, and you are unhappy, there is no point. If you believe there is no afterlife, then the best thing you can do is enjoy your experience while you are here. If you believe there is no afterlife and that when you die there will be no memories to relate to (it makes sense but is much colder), so your experiences here are completely irrelevant--take the time and be happy anyway. Enjoy it while you can. If you believe in an afterlife, then wouldn't living your life the best way you can (which, should at least be satisfying in your purpose if not joyous, if you consider yourself the type of religious person who must sacrifice everything to show yourself as worthy of your God), happily, the best thing you could possibly do? There are finer details to this (such as physiological improvements, mental health, awareness, empathy and some more), but this general idea covers it pretty well.
I should probably make a distinction here: the difference between pain and suffering. Pain is the sharp stab of a fresh wound, and is completely valid. You can't evade pain--it's just something you have to deal with. It's possible to numb it, but it often just stores itself inside instead of going away, and turns into suffering. Suffering is that low, dull, unnecessary ache that you feel in the back of your head, or sometimes as an overwhelming stupor. Depression, lack of satisfaction, no fulfillment--those are often due to suffering, and vise versa.
Many people don't realize that they can CHOOSE to be happy. A few reasons they believe are as follow:
"I'm supposed to be unhappy; that's the way life is." This doesn't even begin to make sense. Who says this is the way life is?
"I can't just be happy." This is also untrue; you can, in fact, just be happy. It can be difficult, but it's definitely possible.
"I don't deserve to be happy." Whether it's guilt or shame (but they're both kind of the same), you DO deserve to be happy. Everybody deserves to be happy (I won't speak on "evil people" yet, that's a deeper moral conflict which needs to be considered in its own topic).
There's also another reason a lot of people don't want to admit: they want to be unhappy. They've become so used to it, so familiar with it, that it's all they know--and they cling to it. This is often the case with people who are self-pitying, or self-important and loathsome of others.
Yet another reason is just that people don't want to take the responsibility to be happy. That would mean governing themselves! It would take effort! No, they won't do that. It's so much easier to just be unhappy and not do anything. If only they know what it was like to be happy!
But most people don't even know what happiness is. People believe that happiness is what you get when you have a secure life, a home, a family, a nice car, and a well-paying job. Unfortunately, this isn't the case (but sometimes is if you have a really great family life, but that's about the only reason). As a quote goes, "There is no path to happiness. Happiness is the path." That's what most people don't understand--happiness is not something to be achieved. Happiness is a state to be. You don't get happiness when you get a few things--happiness has very little, if not nothing, to do with material possessions.
Happiness by the material is not happiness at all--that's comfort. Often, it can even lead to sloth and further unfulfillment and general distaste, once you finish playing with your toys and realize--oops, you're still not happy. Many rich people are lonely and unhappy, I assure you. That's because money really can't buy happiness-- and don't say drugs, alcohol, or women/men are happiness. In that aspect--they're the same as material entertainment. Not happiness.
So, you might be thinking, "then what the hell is happiness?" True happiness is contentment, joy, self-assured satisfaction in life as it is. This is the kind of happiness that can ride you through life and all its difficulties, if you know how to work it. And there are several ways to do it.
The simplest and easiest way to do it is just through appreciation. Appreciate what you have. Look around at your life--look at everything you have that other people don't have. In fact, look at everything you have that other people do have--because it's possible that you might not have it. If you feel you don't have anything--you do. By the fact that you are reading this blog, this means you have life. Even if you're near suicidal, to the point that you want everything to stop--just think about it. Think about the fact that you can be happy if you really want to.
That leads me to the next way--fix your life. If you have things keeping you down--do everything you can to fight against it, to break free from it! If you don't like your friends, leave your friends. Find new friends. If you have an addiction--break it. If you hate the way things are going--make new goings. If you don't like your job, quit and find a new one. Even if you think you can't do anything--with the drive, anybody can do anything. There is this homeless man who sells bottled water down a busy street--I really love that guy. He posts posters up all along the street, saying great things like "Homeless, but not hopeless"--and when you look at him--you can just tell. He's a happy, striving guy, striving for better things. If he can do it--I'm sure you can. However, a note of warning: if your life situation is dangerous to your well-being, avoid doing things that will get you out of the frying pan and into the fire.
There's another way, which is possible but a bit unnatural seeming to some people--you simply tell yourself you are happy. You emulate happy--you almost force happiness. You shoot down negative thoughts and encourage positive ones--and believe it or not, this works. It works like a charm if you stick with it, but it can be a bit difficult. It also helps you learn to discipline your mind. After you practice this for a while, you realize that almost permanently, your mental composition is changed--and you are happy.
Then, there are more spiritual, transcendant-type ways to be happy. If you're a skeptic or in general not too big on that sort of thing--you don't have to listen. But I'll talk about it a bit in-depth for those of you who do want to hear it--and it's a really big subject, so I'm not going to cover it all here. There's about two or three transcendant/spiritual type ways to become happy. One is realizing that everything in the grand, grand scheme is incredibly, incredibly unimportant and petty. I'm going to get some hate for saying this, but even Hitler's doing--the death of 6 million jews, while horrid, atrocious, and despisable--is, in the grand scheme, unimportant. The stars, the cosmos, the planets and comets don't care--they'd sooner crash into this planet and blow us to bits than care. I can't take something like the Holocaust lightly, being where I am in my mind (and I'm sure many are the same way), but it's incredibly easy to just laugh most of your problems away. It's really quite funny that you're worried about such small issues in the scope of everything.
The second way is part of a long, long journey--straight to the motherload--Enlightenment. It's said that all unhappiness roots from one source: being incomplete. To understand what this means you have to know that everything is one, and seperate existence is an illusion. In pursuing all this, for the skeptic, a good dose of Eastern mysticism, quantum physics and cognitive psychology help a lot in understanding this subject. It's quite a hellhole to deal with, but the benefits are great.
The third is realizing that no matter what, you are completely whole. Your mind may be in pain, your heart may ache, but you--you are whole. But who are you, if not your mind, if not your heart? Think about it. I will cover this in depth in another blog post.
I guess I have nothing more to say on this topic. The rest is up to you. You always have a choice.
4 easy steps to finding happiness
from
Many people believe some individuals are born happy whereas for them finding happiness seems to be a very hard to achieve objective.
According to 'Dr Mercola' there are a few simple tips that can help rewrite sorrowful life into one filled with joy.
1. Experiment to find out what makes you happy.
If you have not taken the time to explore what brings joy to your life, you may realize you do not even know what brings you happiness anymore. In this case, try out different things you have never done before.
2. Focus on gratitude.
Incorporate a daily gratitude session where you identify something you are grateful for. You can express your gratitude in many ways: silently say 'thank you', call or email the person you want to thank, or devise your own gratitude ritual.
3. Take time to savor life.
Resolve to cut down on rushing from one thing to the next and reduce your number of appointments and daily tasks.
4. Laugh now!
When you are in the middle of a mess, look around you and realize the absurdity of the moment. Remind yourself that a year from now, no one will care, and you will probably be laughing about it anyway.
There is little doubt about the powerful effects of positive emotions on the physical health and well-being. Happiness protects the body from stressors that may lead to coronary heart disease.
In other words, happiness is a spontaneous natural result of pursuing the God-given mission in life and following a natural lifestyle that allows the body to function at its highest possible level.
Many people believe some individuals are born happy whereas for them finding happiness seems to be a very hard to achieve objective.
According to 'Dr Mercola' there are a few simple tips that can help rewrite sorrowful life into one filled with joy.
1. Experiment to find out what makes you happy.
If you have not taken the time to explore what brings joy to your life, you may realize you do not even know what brings you happiness anymore. In this case, try out different things you have never done before.
2. Focus on gratitude.
Incorporate a daily gratitude session where you identify something you are grateful for. You can express your gratitude in many ways: silently say 'thank you', call or email the person you want to thank, or devise your own gratitude ritual.
3. Take time to savor life.
Resolve to cut down on rushing from one thing to the next and reduce your number of appointments and daily tasks.
4. Laugh now!
When you are in the middle of a mess, look around you and realize the absurdity of the moment. Remind yourself that a year from now, no one will care, and you will probably be laughing about it anyway.
There is little doubt about the powerful effects of positive emotions on the physical health and well-being. Happiness protects the body from stressors that may lead to coronary heart disease.
In other words, happiness is a spontaneous natural result of pursuing the God-given mission in life and following a natural lifestyle that allows the body to function at its highest possible level.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
