from
Over the years, addiction has been described in many different ways - as a moral weakness, a lack of willpower, an inability to face the world, a physical sickness, and a spiritual illness. However, addiction can be more accurately described and defined in the following way:
Nearly all human beings have a deep desire to feel happy and to find peace of mind and soul. At times in our lives, most of us find this wholeness of peace and beauty, but then it slips away, only to return at another time. When it leaves us, we feel sadness and even a slight sense of mourning. This is one of the natural cycles of life, and it’s not a cycle we can control.
To some extent, we can help these cycles along, but for the most part they are uncontrollable - all of us must go through them. We can either accept these cycles and learn from them or fight them, searching for elusive happiness.
Addiction can be viewed as an attempt to control these uncontrollable cycles. When addicts use a particular object, such as a substance or an event to produce a desired mood change, they believe they can control these cycles, and at first they can. Addiction, on its most basic level, is an attempt to control and fulfill this desire for happiness.
Addiction must be viewed as a process that is progressive. It needs to be seen as an illness that undergoes continuous development from a definite, though often unclear, beginning, toward an end point.
Whether it is an addiction to drugs, alcohol, or shopping, all addictions and addictive processes have the same thing in common: the out-of-control and aimless searching for wholeness, happiness, and peace through a relationship with an object or event. No matter what the addiction is, every addict engages in a relationship with an object or event in order to produce a desired mood change, state of intoxication, or trance state.
For example:
The alcoholic experiences a mood change while drinking at the local bar.
The food addict experiences a mood change by binging or starving.
The addictive gambler experiences a mood change by placing bets on football games and then watching the action on television.
The shoplifter experiences a mood change when stealing clothing from a department store.
The sex addict experiences a mood change while browsing in a pornographic bookstore.
The addictive spender experiences a mood change by going on a shopping spree.
The workaholic experiences a mood change by staying at work to accomplish another task even though he or she is needed at home.
Although all of the objects or events described are very different, they all produce desired mood changes in the addicts who engage in them, and they all have core similarities.
Addiction is an attempt to make emotional sense out of life. Addicts believe on an emotional level that they are being fulfilled. The trance created by acting out an addiction is often described by addicts as a time in which they feel alive and complete. This is especially true in the earlier stages of the addiction process.
you have just read an extract from Understanding Addiction
To find out more about the Understanding Addiction eBook and Audio package, visit the website
www.understanding-addiction.com
Friday, June 29, 2007
Monday, June 25, 2007
Sunday, June 24, 2007
Nanoseconds Of Happiness
washingtonpost.com
Nanoseconds Of Happiness
You're Going to Love Your iPhone, Until the Next Gizmo Calls
By Darrin M. McMahon
Sunday, June 24, 2007; B02
American gadget lovers are already lining up for the tech event of the year: Friday's release of Apple's much-ballyhooed iPhone. By all accounts, it's a spectacularly cool gizmo -- a single, sleek device that, at the poke of a finger, lets you surf the Web, watch a movie, take a picture, listen to a song or even gab on the phone. It's easy enough to get seduced by the next next thing, as the phrase goes. But amid all the hype, the real question that a savvy shopper should be asking is: Can it make me happy?
In avid consumer societies such as ours, connecting a gadget, brand or product with happiness -- a true, lasting sense of well-being -- has become the stock in trade of modern advertising. No doubt Apple will be trying to forge that link again in the coming media and advertising blitz. (Just look at its hipster ad campaign for the shrewdly marketed iPod: all those Technicolor swingers jiving ecstatically away.) The underlying message -- Consume and Be Content -- is perfectly clear.
What is less clear is the effect that such products, and our helpless lust for them, have on our personal happiness and our societal well-being. (After all, it was Adam and Eve's longing for another apple product that first consigned humanity to misery.) Should we be worried that the iPhone, and the countless other material indulgences on offer in today's hypercapitalist economies, might have similarly nasty effects?
Benjamin R. Barber, a professor at the University of Maryland, argues in his recent "Consumed: How Markets Corrupt Children, Infantilize Adults, and Swallow Citizens Whole" that modern capitalism drives grown-ups "to retrieve the childish things the Bible told us to put away, and to enter the new world of electronic toys, games, and gadgets that constitute a modern digital playground for adults." Indulging our desire for gadgets, Barber warns, makes adults selfish, sad and infantile.
Barber is just the latest in a venerable line of worrywarts. Moral and religious naysayers have been preaching for years that no good can come from plucking objects of desire -- from the tree or from the shelf. Classical thinkers in Greece and Rome fretted about the corrupting effects of luxury, and Christians (remember those hair shirts!) inveighed for centuries against gluttony and greed.
The anxiety that prosperity and commerce would rot our moral fiber only worsened with the onset of commercial society as we know it. In 18th-century Britain and France (with the United States close behind), the world's first consumer cultures consumed as never before: fine silverware to stir the sugar; chocolate, coffee and tea to give life savor, courtesy of life-wrecking slave colonies in the New World and Asia; Waterford crystal and Wedgewood porcelain to carry the delights of increasingly productive farms; ornate pipes and snuff boxes to hold Virginia tobacco; and clothes, clothes, clothes -- especially in Paris, which hasn't looked back since the first women's fashion magazine, the Journal des Dames, was founded in 1759.
Needless to say, such early consumer items were a far cry from the iPhone. But their novelty and popularity were enough to alarm the philosopher Jean-Jacques Rousseau, who warned that human "needs" were being trampled by fleeting fashions and tastes. Far from making us happier, he scolded, the new abundance was fostering false needs, envy and self-love -- alienating us from one another and from ourselves.
Rousseau's insights were picked up by the philosopher Georg Hegel and then Karl Marx. The rise of modern economies, Marx argued, relied on convincing consumers that they needed gadget after gadget, luxury after luxury. Capitalism led people to regard objects newly available for purchase as magical and strange, investing them with a value they didn't inherently have. This argument, from the first chapter of "Das Kapital," is famously known as the "fetishism of commodities." You'll witness it firsthand with that first blissed-out friend raving on and on about his new iPhone.
Anyone who has ever attended a yard sale or browsed the stalls of a flea market will know just what Marx meant. Sure, you've got to have an iPhone today, but years from now, when the thing is lying on a dusty card table on your neighbor's front lawn, surrounded by Mason jars and headless Barbie dolls, your gadget will look as timeworn as your wheezing Apple IIe does now.
The pleasure we get from such objects is invariably short-lived. After an initial rush of excitement, the joy fades. And then you're on to the next gizmo, and then the next, in hot pursuit of happiness.
Researchers in the growing field of happiness studies have long appreciated this phenomenon. So did Freud, who likened it to the "cheap enjoyment" one gets from "putting a bare leg from under the bedclothes on a cold winter night and drawing it in again." Repeat the action as often as you like: The feeling of satisfaction always wears off.
Evolutionary psychologists suspect that Darwinian forces are at work here. Out on the African veldt, it was probably not in our ancestors' interest to remain too satisfied for too long. Better to be a little anxious and on the prowl than to be happy and eaten. After all, our perpetual pursuit of pleasures, such as food, safety and sex, is precisely what keeps the species going.
Where does that leave homo economicus? Are we really just like children at a birthday party rushing from one toy to the next? Do people like Barber have a point when they warn that an "ethos of infantilization" has infected our society?
Perhaps. But remember, homo economicus is also homo ludens, a creature of play. Is it really so wrong to amuse ourselves with our toys?
Political economist Adam Smith was wiser about such things than today's scolds and killjoys. A man of deep classical learning, he knew perfectly well that "frivolous objects" could never secure our happiness, which was above all a matter of the soul. So Smith took a clear-eyed view of the iPhones of his day -- the "tooth-pick, ear-picker, or machine for cutting the nails." But he also knew that our longing for what he called "baubles" and "gewgaws," like our longing for power or riches, was a productive force that tapped deep into the wellsprings of human nature. It was natural, he thought, to aspire to such things, and natural for us to imagine that having them would bring us happiness and ease.
That belief, Smith fully acknowledged, was a "deception." He understood that humans innately overestimate the amount of pleasure that gewgaws and iPhones would bring. And yet he thought that the impulse to acquire them was precisely the force that "rouses and keeps in continual motion the industry of mankind," prompting us to build cities, invent and improve the arts and sciences, and change the "whole face of the globe." The key to all human progress, Smith knew, was the pursuit of happiness.
So pursue away. Of course, the iPhone won't make you truly happy -- at least not for long. But don't let that keep you from enjoying it. People were meant to play, and there is tremendous power in such pursuits. Smith probably would have chuckled indulgently at the iPhone lineups at AT&T. He may even have picked one up for himself.
Nanoseconds Of Happiness
You're Going to Love Your iPhone, Until the Next Gizmo Calls
By Darrin M. McMahon
Sunday, June 24, 2007; B02
American gadget lovers are already lining up for the tech event of the year: Friday's release of Apple's much-ballyhooed iPhone. By all accounts, it's a spectacularly cool gizmo -- a single, sleek device that, at the poke of a finger, lets you surf the Web, watch a movie, take a picture, listen to a song or even gab on the phone. It's easy enough to get seduced by the next next thing, as the phrase goes. But amid all the hype, the real question that a savvy shopper should be asking is: Can it make me happy?
In avid consumer societies such as ours, connecting a gadget, brand or product with happiness -- a true, lasting sense of well-being -- has become the stock in trade of modern advertising. No doubt Apple will be trying to forge that link again in the coming media and advertising blitz. (Just look at its hipster ad campaign for the shrewdly marketed iPod: all those Technicolor swingers jiving ecstatically away.) The underlying message -- Consume and Be Content -- is perfectly clear.
What is less clear is the effect that such products, and our helpless lust for them, have on our personal happiness and our societal well-being. (After all, it was Adam and Eve's longing for another apple product that first consigned humanity to misery.) Should we be worried that the iPhone, and the countless other material indulgences on offer in today's hypercapitalist economies, might have similarly nasty effects?
Benjamin R. Barber, a professor at the University of Maryland, argues in his recent "Consumed: How Markets Corrupt Children, Infantilize Adults, and Swallow Citizens Whole" that modern capitalism drives grown-ups "to retrieve the childish things the Bible told us to put away, and to enter the new world of electronic toys, games, and gadgets that constitute a modern digital playground for adults." Indulging our desire for gadgets, Barber warns, makes adults selfish, sad and infantile.
Barber is just the latest in a venerable line of worrywarts. Moral and religious naysayers have been preaching for years that no good can come from plucking objects of desire -- from the tree or from the shelf. Classical thinkers in Greece and Rome fretted about the corrupting effects of luxury, and Christians (remember those hair shirts!) inveighed for centuries against gluttony and greed.
The anxiety that prosperity and commerce would rot our moral fiber only worsened with the onset of commercial society as we know it. In 18th-century Britain and France (with the United States close behind), the world's first consumer cultures consumed as never before: fine silverware to stir the sugar; chocolate, coffee and tea to give life savor, courtesy of life-wrecking slave colonies in the New World and Asia; Waterford crystal and Wedgewood porcelain to carry the delights of increasingly productive farms; ornate pipes and snuff boxes to hold Virginia tobacco; and clothes, clothes, clothes -- especially in Paris, which hasn't looked back since the first women's fashion magazine, the Journal des Dames, was founded in 1759.
Needless to say, such early consumer items were a far cry from the iPhone. But their novelty and popularity were enough to alarm the philosopher Jean-Jacques Rousseau, who warned that human "needs" were being trampled by fleeting fashions and tastes. Far from making us happier, he scolded, the new abundance was fostering false needs, envy and self-love -- alienating us from one another and from ourselves.
Rousseau's insights were picked up by the philosopher Georg Hegel and then Karl Marx. The rise of modern economies, Marx argued, relied on convincing consumers that they needed gadget after gadget, luxury after luxury. Capitalism led people to regard objects newly available for purchase as magical and strange, investing them with a value they didn't inherently have. This argument, from the first chapter of "Das Kapital," is famously known as the "fetishism of commodities." You'll witness it firsthand with that first blissed-out friend raving on and on about his new iPhone.
Anyone who has ever attended a yard sale or browsed the stalls of a flea market will know just what Marx meant. Sure, you've got to have an iPhone today, but years from now, when the thing is lying on a dusty card table on your neighbor's front lawn, surrounded by Mason jars and headless Barbie dolls, your gadget will look as timeworn as your wheezing Apple IIe does now.
The pleasure we get from such objects is invariably short-lived. After an initial rush of excitement, the joy fades. And then you're on to the next gizmo, and then the next, in hot pursuit of happiness.
Researchers in the growing field of happiness studies have long appreciated this phenomenon. So did Freud, who likened it to the "cheap enjoyment" one gets from "putting a bare leg from under the bedclothes on a cold winter night and drawing it in again." Repeat the action as often as you like: The feeling of satisfaction always wears off.
Evolutionary psychologists suspect that Darwinian forces are at work here. Out on the African veldt, it was probably not in our ancestors' interest to remain too satisfied for too long. Better to be a little anxious and on the prowl than to be happy and eaten. After all, our perpetual pursuit of pleasures, such as food, safety and sex, is precisely what keeps the species going.
Where does that leave homo economicus? Are we really just like children at a birthday party rushing from one toy to the next? Do people like Barber have a point when they warn that an "ethos of infantilization" has infected our society?
Perhaps. But remember, homo economicus is also homo ludens, a creature of play. Is it really so wrong to amuse ourselves with our toys?
Political economist Adam Smith was wiser about such things than today's scolds and killjoys. A man of deep classical learning, he knew perfectly well that "frivolous objects" could never secure our happiness, which was above all a matter of the soul. So Smith took a clear-eyed view of the iPhones of his day -- the "tooth-pick, ear-picker, or machine for cutting the nails." But he also knew that our longing for what he called "baubles" and "gewgaws," like our longing for power or riches, was a productive force that tapped deep into the wellsprings of human nature. It was natural, he thought, to aspire to such things, and natural for us to imagine that having them would bring us happiness and ease.
That belief, Smith fully acknowledged, was a "deception." He understood that humans innately overestimate the amount of pleasure that gewgaws and iPhones would bring. And yet he thought that the impulse to acquire them was precisely the force that "rouses and keeps in continual motion the industry of mankind," prompting us to build cities, invent and improve the arts and sciences, and change the "whole face of the globe." The key to all human progress, Smith knew, was the pursuit of happiness.
So pursue away. Of course, the iPhone won't make you truly happy -- at least not for long. But don't let that keep you from enjoying it. People were meant to play, and there is tremendous power in such pursuits. Smith probably would have chuckled indulgently at the iPhone lineups at AT&T. He may even have picked one up for himself.
Saturday, June 23, 2007
Proverbs of Happiness
from charumathis's Blog
1. Happiness is another term for inner peace.
2. One achieves inner peace through harmony between what one does and what one believes.
3. Thus while outer events might make one happy or sad, happiness itself is entirely internal, and at all times completely within one's power.
4. This does not mean, however, that happiness is easy. It requires wisdom, discipline, and love.
5. Wisdom comes slowly, through the scrupulous pursuit of truth over time. Thus what one believes is never certain, but can always be sincere.
6. Discipline enables one to acquire habits in tune with one's beliefs. Behavior flows from character, which, like a mansion, is built of thousands of details, or acts, each judged not only for itself but for its contribution to the whole.
7. Love is the choice to open one's arms to life, enabling one to embrace imperfection. From it flow empathy, compassion, generosity, and acceptance. The opposite of love is fear.
8. To be happy, one must love oneself as well as others.
9. Because inner peace or harmony is never perfect, happiness is never achieved, and is always a question of more or less.
10. The inner and outer worlds are mirrors. How one shapes one's inner world through will shapes one's perception of the outer world. Thus an unhappy person is likely to perceive a world of lust, greed, and lies, whereas a happy one is likely to perceive a world of people struggling in the grip of love.
1. Happiness is another term for inner peace.
2. One achieves inner peace through harmony between what one does and what one believes.
3. Thus while outer events might make one happy or sad, happiness itself is entirely internal, and at all times completely within one's power.
4. This does not mean, however, that happiness is easy. It requires wisdom, discipline, and love.
5. Wisdom comes slowly, through the scrupulous pursuit of truth over time. Thus what one believes is never certain, but can always be sincere.
6. Discipline enables one to acquire habits in tune with one's beliefs. Behavior flows from character, which, like a mansion, is built of thousands of details, or acts, each judged not only for itself but for its contribution to the whole.
7. Love is the choice to open one's arms to life, enabling one to embrace imperfection. From it flow empathy, compassion, generosity, and acceptance. The opposite of love is fear.
8. To be happy, one must love oneself as well as others.
9. Because inner peace or harmony is never perfect, happiness is never achieved, and is always a question of more or less.
10. The inner and outer worlds are mirrors. How one shapes one's inner world through will shapes one's perception of the outer world. Thus an unhappy person is likely to perceive a world of lust, greed, and lies, whereas a happy one is likely to perceive a world of people struggling in the grip of love.
Addiction - a Shortcut to Happiness?
from
Over the years, addiction has been described in many different ways - as a moral weakness, a lack of willpower, an inability to face the world, a physical sickness, and a spiritual illness. However, addiction can be more accurately described and defined in the following way:
Nearly all human beings have a deep desire to feel happy and to find peace of mind and soul. At times in our lives, most of us find this wholeness of peace and beauty, but then it slips away, only to return at another time. When it leaves us, we feel sadness and even a slight sense of mourning. This is one of the natural cycles of life, and its not a cycle we can control.
To some extent, we can help these cycles along, but for the most part they are uncontrollable - all of us must go through them. We can either accept these cycles and learn from them or fight them, searching for elusive happiness.
Addiction can be viewed as an attempt to control these uncontrollable cycles. When addicts use a particular object, such as a substance or an event to produce a desired mood change, they believe they can control these cycles, and at first they can. Addiction, on its most basic level, is an attempt to control and fulfill this desire for happiness.
Addiction must be viewed as a process that is progressive. It needs to be seen as an illness that undergoes continuous development from a definite, though often unclear, beginning, toward an end point.
Whether it is an addiction to drugs, alcohol, or shopping, all addictions and addictive processes have the same thing in common: the out-of-control and aimless searching for wholeness, happiness, and peace through a relationship with an object or event. No matter what the addiction is, every addict engages in a relationship with an object or event in order to produce a desired mood change, state of intoxication, or trance state.
For example:
The alcoholic experiences a mood change while drinking at the local bar.
The food addict experiences a mood change by binging or starving.
The addictive gambler experiences a mood change by placing bets on football games and then watching the action on television.
The shoplifter experiences a mood change when stealing clothing from a department store.
The sex addict experiences a mood change while browsing in a pornographic bookstore.
The addictive spender experiences a mood change by going on a shopping spree.
The workaholic experiences a mood change by staying at work to accomplish another task even though he or she is needed at home.
Although all of the objects or events described are very different, they all produce desired mood changes in the addicts who engage in them, and they all have core similarities.
Addiction is an attempt to make emotional sense out of life. Addicts believe on an emotional level that they are being fulfilled. The trance created by acting out an addiction is often described by addicts as a time in which they feel alive and complete. This is especially true in the earlier stages of the addiction process.
Over the years, addiction has been described in many different ways - as a moral weakness, a lack of willpower, an inability to face the world, a physical sickness, and a spiritual illness. However, addiction can be more accurately described and defined in the following way:
Nearly all human beings have a deep desire to feel happy and to find peace of mind and soul. At times in our lives, most of us find this wholeness of peace and beauty, but then it slips away, only to return at another time. When it leaves us, we feel sadness and even a slight sense of mourning. This is one of the natural cycles of life, and its not a cycle we can control.
To some extent, we can help these cycles along, but for the most part they are uncontrollable - all of us must go through them. We can either accept these cycles and learn from them or fight them, searching for elusive happiness.
Addiction can be viewed as an attempt to control these uncontrollable cycles. When addicts use a particular object, such as a substance or an event to produce a desired mood change, they believe they can control these cycles, and at first they can. Addiction, on its most basic level, is an attempt to control and fulfill this desire for happiness.
Addiction must be viewed as a process that is progressive. It needs to be seen as an illness that undergoes continuous development from a definite, though often unclear, beginning, toward an end point.
Whether it is an addiction to drugs, alcohol, or shopping, all addictions and addictive processes have the same thing in common: the out-of-control and aimless searching for wholeness, happiness, and peace through a relationship with an object or event. No matter what the addiction is, every addict engages in a relationship with an object or event in order to produce a desired mood change, state of intoxication, or trance state.
For example:
The alcoholic experiences a mood change while drinking at the local bar.
The food addict experiences a mood change by binging or starving.
The addictive gambler experiences a mood change by placing bets on football games and then watching the action on television.
The shoplifter experiences a mood change when stealing clothing from a department store.
The sex addict experiences a mood change while browsing in a pornographic bookstore.
The addictive spender experiences a mood change by going on a shopping spree.
The workaholic experiences a mood change by staying at work to accomplish another task even though he or she is needed at home.
Although all of the objects or events described are very different, they all produce desired mood changes in the addicts who engage in them, and they all have core similarities.
Addiction is an attempt to make emotional sense out of life. Addicts believe on an emotional level that they are being fulfilled. The trance created by acting out an addiction is often described by addicts as a time in which they feel alive and complete. This is especially true in the earlier stages of the addiction process.
Bogota's urban happiness movement
from the Global and Mail
And what makes people most unhappy? Not work, but commuting to work.
“There are a few things we can agree on about happiness,” he says. “You need to fulfill your potential as a human being. You need to walk. You need to be with other people. Most of all, you need to not feel inferior. When you talk about these things, designing a city can be a very powerful means to generate happiness.”
And what makes people most unhappy? Not work, but commuting to work.
“There are a few things we can agree on about happiness,” he says. “You need to fulfill your potential as a human being. You need to walk. You need to be with other people. Most of all, you need to not feel inferior. When you talk about these things, designing a city can be a very powerful means to generate happiness.”
Tuesday, June 19, 2007
The happiness recipe - 56 tips for a better life
from Project Armannd
So you want to be happy. I knew it. The following tips are tried-and-tested, and I’m more than happy to share them with you.
We all know that our health is being affected by the degree of happiness we feel in our lives. The happier we are, the healthier (and wealthier) we get. So, starting now, make the decision to be happy! Use these tips as a self motivation exercise to help you aquire the necessary self motivation skills which will help you on your path to happiness.
1. Be grateful. Take some time to thank the bus driver for taking you to your destination safely, thank the mailman for bringing you your mail each day, thank everyone that helps you. It will make you feel different inside.
2. Laugh. Laugh as much as you can. Laughter is known to be the best medicine for everything. If you know a good joke tell it to your family and friends. Also, try to see the humour in your own habits. We all have some peculiar ones.
3. Exercise. Go to the gym, swim, play tennis or do something that stimulates the endorphins release in your body. By exercising regularly, you change the way you think and your body chemicals. You will also start to look better and be more confident in you and your body.
4. Leave the news for what it is. News is stressful. More than 95% of it is bad news, so why would you want to assimilate that?
5. Practice time management. Set your goals, plan them, prioritize them. By doing this, you will be able to work through and finish your list on a daily basis, which will help you experience happines and contentement.
6. Work hard. By doing so you will create enormous personal satisfaction and it will help you have a sense of value about yourself.
7. Learn new things. A classic advice. Learning new things is an enriching exercise that will literally expand your world and create more opportunities for you in the future.
8. Express your feelings. Show affection and warmth to the people around you and in that let go of your fears.
9. Find spiritual connections. By being in touch with spirituality on a regular basis you foster inner peace and balance.
10. Help other people. This will give you a warm, energizing feeling. The more positive energy you put into this world, the more you will get in return.
11. Live in the moment. Instead of just adding days to your life, add life to your days. Keep in mind that the only time we really have is now – just this moment. Don’t let anything rob you of your life and happiness.
12. Don’t expect your future to be a certain way. By doing so you’ll be more content with what you have now – and this experience will continue in the future.
13. Take bubble baths. Relax, feel the warmth of the water, play some soft music – this will give you a positive feeling that will accompany you for the rest of the day.
14. Dance to your favorite music. It will make you feel more vibrant and alive.
15. Take a vacation. Vacations are rejuvenating and energizing. They will get you physically away from all the day-to-day cares of living and allow you to focus on things that you enjoy.
16. Look at the funny side of life. Look around you for funny things. They are happening, just look for them.
17. Make a choice to be happy. In order to be happy you have to intend to be happy. It’s just a matter of choice and it’s in your power to do it.
18. Quiet your mind. The mind is always flying around, constantly chattering, stirring up fears and distorting our perception of the world. Alter perceptions of circumstances by altering your thoughts. Rein them is, get still and get right with God. Prayer and meditation are powerful tool that can help you quiet and discipline the rumblings of your mind.
19. Push past the pain. Terrible stuff happens. It’s natural. But it’s in our power to push past these times. When your mind clamps down on some kind of pain, it becomes so self-focused it seems that the whole world dissapears. But there is always more going on. Spring will come again and the sun will rise. Your happiness depends on your ability to liberate yourself from your small story.
20. Deal with your issues. To achieve happiness you have to confront the self defeating patterns that you have created.
21. Get rid of negativity. Sarcasm, cynism, fault finding, jealousy, bullying, bandying about gossip, cruel words – you have to forget all these. When your immediate response to almost everything is negative, you have to push the stop button.
22. Know your worth. The modern consumer society dupes us into beliving that to be happy we must live in a bigger house, drive a bigger SUV, be prettier, be thinner, have more orgasms… but it’s all lies. You don’t need any of these to be happy. Oh, they may bring you a temporary high pleasure, feelings of joy and maybe even ecstasy, but lasting happiness can’t be ordered from a Neiman Marcus catalog. All you really have to do is show up and follow your heart, because happiness is deeply personal.
23. Nurture your spirit. Happy people have a rich spiritual life and strong beliefs, and this potisively supports their growth.
24. Act now. Do it now, get busy, become so engaged in living so that you won’t find time to feel bad. You will be happy.
25. Tell your close ones how much you love them. Do this often.
26. Have a cat or a dog? Stroke them often. They will reward you with positive energy.
27. Smile a lot. Your smile will make others smile. Always wear a smile.
28. Give lots of compliments. This will make others feel good about themselves and at the same time it will also give you pleasure.
29. Make small gifts to your friends. Giving is always more pleasurable than receiving.
30. On the same note as the previous tip, give regularly to charities of your choice.
31. Surround yourself with pleasant smells. It’s obvious that a good smell creaties a positive state of mind.
32. Stay close to nature. It is beautiful and it fills you with energy.
33. Spend some time observing the night sky. Contemplating the distances and time involved will allow you to see your life and concerns in perspective.
34. Listen to classic music. It’s a relaxing experience that allows you to disconnect from the daily life.
35. Go to places you’ve never seen before. New things are always exciting.
36. Do something you’ve never done before.
37. Keep a diary or a journal. It will add structure to your life and it will allow you to easily revisit good times.
38. Look for the hero inside yourself. You are unique and very special, so you should respect yourself. This way others will respect you too.
39. Take time to figure out what is important in your life.
40. Remember the times when you felt happy. Repeat the things you did back then.
41. Be thankful for what is working in your life right now.
42. Change your thought process. If you catch yourself thinking that things aren’t going to work out – think again. Imagine the best outcome and then get to work to make it happen.
43. Relax, calm down, take things slower.
44. Lighten up and don’t take yourself too seriously. Stress can cause many problems in your life.
45. Be yourself. Never compare yourself to the other people and don’t let criticism worry you – you can’t please everybody, and you don’t have to.
46. Have a relaxation or a quiet time every day. Five minutes are enough to strenghten you and to allow tension to evaporate.
47. Get a job you love. It’s very important to do something that you enjoy. If you hate or dislike your current job, seriously consider changing it.
48. Choose the right friends and companions. Get involved in activities that reflect who you are and get to know people who share the same passions as you.
49. If you’re feeling sad, there’s nothing like going out with your friends. I guarantee they will make you feel better.
50. Set goal and live up to them. It’s a great feeling when you accomplish a goal.
51. Be healthy. Exercise, eat a healthy diet and don’t forget to fulfill your spiritual needs.
52. Have a simple mental strategy towards life. Research suggests that happy people do this.
53. Listen to music that makes you feel good. Try something uplifting / upbeat in the morning.
54. Be honest with yourself. We lie to ourselves more often than others lie to us.
55. Get plenty of sleep every night. You need energy.
56. The true key to happiness is to be happy with what you already have. Never compare your live to that of the others.
This is the recipe for happiness. If after following it you’re still not happy, then you’re either a robot or an alien.
In the former case, advices don’t work. You should see an electronics engineer.
In the latter case, go home to your planet.
Have a smile and start being happy!
So you want to be happy. I knew it. The following tips are tried-and-tested, and I’m more than happy to share them with you.
We all know that our health is being affected by the degree of happiness we feel in our lives. The happier we are, the healthier (and wealthier) we get. So, starting now, make the decision to be happy! Use these tips as a self motivation exercise to help you aquire the necessary self motivation skills which will help you on your path to happiness.
1. Be grateful. Take some time to thank the bus driver for taking you to your destination safely, thank the mailman for bringing you your mail each day, thank everyone that helps you. It will make you feel different inside.
2. Laugh. Laugh as much as you can. Laughter is known to be the best medicine for everything. If you know a good joke tell it to your family and friends. Also, try to see the humour in your own habits. We all have some peculiar ones.
3. Exercise. Go to the gym, swim, play tennis or do something that stimulates the endorphins release in your body. By exercising regularly, you change the way you think and your body chemicals. You will also start to look better and be more confident in you and your body.
4. Leave the news for what it is. News is stressful. More than 95% of it is bad news, so why would you want to assimilate that?
5. Practice time management. Set your goals, plan them, prioritize them. By doing this, you will be able to work through and finish your list on a daily basis, which will help you experience happines and contentement.
6. Work hard. By doing so you will create enormous personal satisfaction and it will help you have a sense of value about yourself.
7. Learn new things. A classic advice. Learning new things is an enriching exercise that will literally expand your world and create more opportunities for you in the future.
8. Express your feelings. Show affection and warmth to the people around you and in that let go of your fears.
9. Find spiritual connections. By being in touch with spirituality on a regular basis you foster inner peace and balance.
10. Help other people. This will give you a warm, energizing feeling. The more positive energy you put into this world, the more you will get in return.
11. Live in the moment. Instead of just adding days to your life, add life to your days. Keep in mind that the only time we really have is now – just this moment. Don’t let anything rob you of your life and happiness.
12. Don’t expect your future to be a certain way. By doing so you’ll be more content with what you have now – and this experience will continue in the future.
13. Take bubble baths. Relax, feel the warmth of the water, play some soft music – this will give you a positive feeling that will accompany you for the rest of the day.
14. Dance to your favorite music. It will make you feel more vibrant and alive.
15. Take a vacation. Vacations are rejuvenating and energizing. They will get you physically away from all the day-to-day cares of living and allow you to focus on things that you enjoy.
16. Look at the funny side of life. Look around you for funny things. They are happening, just look for them.
17. Make a choice to be happy. In order to be happy you have to intend to be happy. It’s just a matter of choice and it’s in your power to do it.
18. Quiet your mind. The mind is always flying around, constantly chattering, stirring up fears and distorting our perception of the world. Alter perceptions of circumstances by altering your thoughts. Rein them is, get still and get right with God. Prayer and meditation are powerful tool that can help you quiet and discipline the rumblings of your mind.
19. Push past the pain. Terrible stuff happens. It’s natural. But it’s in our power to push past these times. When your mind clamps down on some kind of pain, it becomes so self-focused it seems that the whole world dissapears. But there is always more going on. Spring will come again and the sun will rise. Your happiness depends on your ability to liberate yourself from your small story.
20. Deal with your issues. To achieve happiness you have to confront the self defeating patterns that you have created.
21. Get rid of negativity. Sarcasm, cynism, fault finding, jealousy, bullying, bandying about gossip, cruel words – you have to forget all these. When your immediate response to almost everything is negative, you have to push the stop button.
22. Know your worth. The modern consumer society dupes us into beliving that to be happy we must live in a bigger house, drive a bigger SUV, be prettier, be thinner, have more orgasms… but it’s all lies. You don’t need any of these to be happy. Oh, they may bring you a temporary high pleasure, feelings of joy and maybe even ecstasy, but lasting happiness can’t be ordered from a Neiman Marcus catalog. All you really have to do is show up and follow your heart, because happiness is deeply personal.
23. Nurture your spirit. Happy people have a rich spiritual life and strong beliefs, and this potisively supports their growth.
24. Act now. Do it now, get busy, become so engaged in living so that you won’t find time to feel bad. You will be happy.
25. Tell your close ones how much you love them. Do this often.
26. Have a cat or a dog? Stroke them often. They will reward you with positive energy.
27. Smile a lot. Your smile will make others smile. Always wear a smile.
28. Give lots of compliments. This will make others feel good about themselves and at the same time it will also give you pleasure.
29. Make small gifts to your friends. Giving is always more pleasurable than receiving.
30. On the same note as the previous tip, give regularly to charities of your choice.
31. Surround yourself with pleasant smells. It’s obvious that a good smell creaties a positive state of mind.
32. Stay close to nature. It is beautiful and it fills you with energy.
33. Spend some time observing the night sky. Contemplating the distances and time involved will allow you to see your life and concerns in perspective.
34. Listen to classic music. It’s a relaxing experience that allows you to disconnect from the daily life.
35. Go to places you’ve never seen before. New things are always exciting.
36. Do something you’ve never done before.
37. Keep a diary or a journal. It will add structure to your life and it will allow you to easily revisit good times.
38. Look for the hero inside yourself. You are unique and very special, so you should respect yourself. This way others will respect you too.
39. Take time to figure out what is important in your life.
40. Remember the times when you felt happy. Repeat the things you did back then.
41. Be thankful for what is working in your life right now.
42. Change your thought process. If you catch yourself thinking that things aren’t going to work out – think again. Imagine the best outcome and then get to work to make it happen.
43. Relax, calm down, take things slower.
44. Lighten up and don’t take yourself too seriously. Stress can cause many problems in your life.
45. Be yourself. Never compare yourself to the other people and don’t let criticism worry you – you can’t please everybody, and you don’t have to.
46. Have a relaxation or a quiet time every day. Five minutes are enough to strenghten you and to allow tension to evaporate.
47. Get a job you love. It’s very important to do something that you enjoy. If you hate or dislike your current job, seriously consider changing it.
48. Choose the right friends and companions. Get involved in activities that reflect who you are and get to know people who share the same passions as you.
49. If you’re feeling sad, there’s nothing like going out with your friends. I guarantee they will make you feel better.
50. Set goal and live up to them. It’s a great feeling when you accomplish a goal.
51. Be healthy. Exercise, eat a healthy diet and don’t forget to fulfill your spiritual needs.
52. Have a simple mental strategy towards life. Research suggests that happy people do this.
53. Listen to music that makes you feel good. Try something uplifting / upbeat in the morning.
54. Be honest with yourself. We lie to ourselves more often than others lie to us.
55. Get plenty of sleep every night. You need energy.
56. The true key to happiness is to be happy with what you already have. Never compare your live to that of the others.
This is the recipe for happiness. If after following it you’re still not happy, then you’re either a robot or an alien.
In the former case, advices don’t work. You should see an electronics engineer.
In the latter case, go home to your planet.
Have a smile and start being happy!
Sunday, June 17, 2007
20 ways to get Happy
Health and Happiness | TIME
1) Count your blessings
2) Hear some music
"music activates parts of the brain that can trigger happiness, releasing endorphins similar to the ways that sex and food do. Music can also relax the body, sometimes into sleep as it stimulates the brain's release of melatonin"
3) Snog, Canoodle, Get it On
4) Nurture your spirituality
"people with strong religious faith — of any religion or denomination — are happier than those who are irreligious. faith provides social support, a sense of purpose and a reason to focus beyond the self, all of which help root people in their communities. For the more inwardly focused, deep breathing during meditation and prayer can slow down the body and reduce stress, anxiety and physical tension to allow better emotions and energy to come forward."
5) Move your body
"Moving your body releases endorphins, the quintessential feel-good chemicals found in your brain. , physical motion can provide a rush of good energy that can lift a mood, be it anxiety or mild depression, and it's a good way to keep healthy."
6) Laugh big
"Laughter, like so many other endorphin-triggers, helps to reduce certain stress hormones and, while it might be contagious, it strengthens your immune system rather than weakening it."
7) Do something nice for someone else
8) Make more money than your peers
9) Seek Positive Emotion as a Path to Success
10) Identify with your Heritage
11) Use a Happy Memory as a Guide
12) Play the part of an Optimist
13) Try new things
"the optimal ratio of positive to negative emotion in humans is above 3 to 1 and below 11 to 1. Walker has observed that once the ratio of positive to negative events hit 1 to 1, it opens the door to potential disorders, such as anxiety and depression."
14) Tell your story to someone
15) Balance work and home
16) Keep expectations realistic
17) Make Time
"Society is plagued by time bankruptcy. Troiani usually asks one pointed question to shock her clients out of their rut: How would you feel in two or three years if you still feel this way? "People sit there like a deer in headlights," she says. Her response: picture and imagine what you want to feel like. Maybe set aside two nights in your calendar to focus on those things that you'd like to spend more time on. Or as she puts it: cut the chase."
18) Visualise happiness
"Many psychologists ask people to imagine or picture what they would like in their life, creating a mental state that makes the person think that it is achievable. "If you experience that visualization with your eyes closed, your mind doesn't know if it's real or unreal,""
19) Smile
"Based on the psychology that a person feels whatever emotion they are acting at the moment, you will probably feel better if you smile. To avoid what is called cognitive dissonance, in which our thoughts and actions don't match up, our minds react to the change in our facial expression to bring our beliefs in line with our behavior."
20) Marry Happy
"people in committed relationships have been shown to be happier than those who aren't, despite how satisfying their marriages actually are."
1) Count your blessings
2) Hear some music
"music activates parts of the brain that can trigger happiness, releasing endorphins similar to the ways that sex and food do. Music can also relax the body, sometimes into sleep as it stimulates the brain's release of melatonin"
3) Snog, Canoodle, Get it On
4) Nurture your spirituality
"people with strong religious faith — of any religion or denomination — are happier than those who are irreligious. faith provides social support, a sense of purpose and a reason to focus beyond the self, all of which help root people in their communities. For the more inwardly focused, deep breathing during meditation and prayer can slow down the body and reduce stress, anxiety and physical tension to allow better emotions and energy to come forward."
5) Move your body
"Moving your body releases endorphins, the quintessential feel-good chemicals found in your brain. , physical motion can provide a rush of good energy that can lift a mood, be it anxiety or mild depression, and it's a good way to keep healthy."
6) Laugh big
"Laughter, like so many other endorphin-triggers, helps to reduce certain stress hormones and, while it might be contagious, it strengthens your immune system rather than weakening it."
7) Do something nice for someone else
8) Make more money than your peers
9) Seek Positive Emotion as a Path to Success
10) Identify with your Heritage
11) Use a Happy Memory as a Guide
12) Play the part of an Optimist
13) Try new things
"the optimal ratio of positive to negative emotion in humans is above 3 to 1 and below 11 to 1. Walker has observed that once the ratio of positive to negative events hit 1 to 1, it opens the door to potential disorders, such as anxiety and depression."
14) Tell your story to someone
15) Balance work and home
16) Keep expectations realistic
17) Make Time
"Society is plagued by time bankruptcy. Troiani usually asks one pointed question to shock her clients out of their rut: How would you feel in two or three years if you still feel this way? "People sit there like a deer in headlights," she says. Her response: picture and imagine what you want to feel like. Maybe set aside two nights in your calendar to focus on those things that you'd like to spend more time on. Or as she puts it: cut the chase."
18) Visualise happiness
"Many psychologists ask people to imagine or picture what they would like in their life, creating a mental state that makes the person think that it is achievable. "If you experience that visualization with your eyes closed, your mind doesn't know if it's real or unreal,""
19) Smile
"Based on the psychology that a person feels whatever emotion they are acting at the moment, you will probably feel better if you smile. To avoid what is called cognitive dissonance, in which our thoughts and actions don't match up, our minds react to the change in our facial expression to bring our beliefs in line with our behavior."
20) Marry Happy
"people in committed relationships have been shown to be happier than those who aren't, despite how satisfying their marriages actually are."
More Fun, Less Stuff
Here's how to budget for happiness : The Morning Call Online
A pile of academic research shows that positive life experiences contribute to happiness more than things do. So, in terms of spending your money smarter, your discretionary dollars will reap greater return on such purchases as vacations, attending live events and visiting friends than buying more stuff.
'An orientation toward life experiences tends to make people happier than an orientation toward pursuing materialistic goods,'' said Leaf Van Boven, an assistant psychology professor at the University of Colorado at Boulder, who has studied the topic of happiness and well-being.
Mental editing. The scrapbook in our minds mostly remembers the good parts of experiences, such as vacations. It's not that you completely forget the annoyances; you just remember the joyful events with more force. Because of this memory editing, what academics call positive reinterpretation, the experience actually improves with time.
'Experiences, like a fine wine, get better with time,'' Van Boven said. By contrast, material purchases mostly lose value as they age, both in monetary worth and how much we appreciate them. You likely will never be more thrilled with a material purchase than during the first few days you own it. It's downhill from there.
''One of the reasons people like to buy material possessions is they have something to show for their money,'' Van Boven said. ''What that fails to realize is that, psychologically, the memories really linger over time. Experiences are very durable.''
People matter. An experience is usually a social event, while buying stuff is often a solitary one. ''It's very clear that having a healthy social life is a key component of life satisfaction and well-being,'' Van Boven said.
A pile of academic research shows that positive life experiences contribute to happiness more than things do. So, in terms of spending your money smarter, your discretionary dollars will reap greater return on such purchases as vacations, attending live events and visiting friends than buying more stuff.
'An orientation toward life experiences tends to make people happier than an orientation toward pursuing materialistic goods,'' said Leaf Van Boven, an assistant psychology professor at the University of Colorado at Boulder, who has studied the topic of happiness and well-being.
Mental editing. The scrapbook in our minds mostly remembers the good parts of experiences, such as vacations. It's not that you completely forget the annoyances; you just remember the joyful events with more force. Because of this memory editing, what academics call positive reinterpretation, the experience actually improves with time.
'Experiences, like a fine wine, get better with time,'' Van Boven said. By contrast, material purchases mostly lose value as they age, both in monetary worth and how much we appreciate them. You likely will never be more thrilled with a material purchase than during the first few days you own it. It's downhill from there.
''One of the reasons people like to buy material possessions is they have something to show for their money,'' Van Boven said. ''What that fails to realize is that, psychologically, the memories really linger over time. Experiences are very durable.''
People matter. An experience is usually a social event, while buying stuff is often a solitary one. ''It's very clear that having a healthy social life is a key component of life satisfaction and well-being,'' Van Boven said.
Saturday, June 16, 2007
Tips from Stefan Sagmeister
Making Happy
Complaining is silly. Either act or forget.
Thinking life will be better in the future is stupid. I have to live now.
Being not truthful works against me.
Helping other people helps me.
Organizing a charity group is surprisingly easy.
Everything I do always comes back to me.
Drugs feel great in the beginning and become a drag later on.
Over time I get used to everything and start taking if for granted.
Money does not make me happy.
Traveling alone is helpful for a new perspective on life.
Assuming is stifling.
Keeping a diary supports my personal development.
Trying to look good limits my life.
Worrying solves nothing.
Material luxuries are best enjoyed in small doses.
Having guts always works out for me.
Complaining is silly. Either act or forget.
Thinking life will be better in the future is stupid. I have to live now.
Being not truthful works against me.
Helping other people helps me.
Organizing a charity group is surprisingly easy.
Everything I do always comes back to me.
Drugs feel great in the beginning and become a drag later on.
Over time I get used to everything and start taking if for granted.
Money does not make me happy.
Traveling alone is helpful for a new perspective on life.
Assuming is stifling.
Keeping a diary supports my personal development.
Trying to look good limits my life.
Worrying solves nothing.
Material luxuries are best enjoyed in small doses.
Having guts always works out for me.
Thursday, June 14, 2007
The Ten Keys To Happiness
from Dynamicbrain
The ten keys to happiness
1. Listen to your body's wisdom, which expresses itself through signals of comfort and discomfort.
2. Live in the present, for it is the only moment you have.
3. Accept what comes to you totally and completely so that you can appreciate it and learn from it.
4. Take time to be silent, to meditate, to quiet the internal dialogue.
5. Relinquish your need for external approval. You alone are the judge of your worth.
6. Relinquish your anger, do not struggle with yourself.
7. Shed the burden of judgement - you will feel much lighter.
8. Don't contaminate your body with toxins, either through food, drink, or toxic emotions.
9. Replace fear-motivated behaviour with love-motivated behaviour.
10. Know that the world out there reflects your reality in here.
The ten keys to happiness
1. Listen to your body's wisdom, which expresses itself through signals of comfort and discomfort.
2. Live in the present, for it is the only moment you have.
3. Accept what comes to you totally and completely so that you can appreciate it and learn from it.
4. Take time to be silent, to meditate, to quiet the internal dialogue.
5. Relinquish your need for external approval. You alone are the judge of your worth.
6. Relinquish your anger, do not struggle with yourself.
7. Shed the burden of judgement - you will feel much lighter.
8. Don't contaminate your body with toxins, either through food, drink, or toxic emotions.
9. Replace fear-motivated behaviour with love-motivated behaviour.
10. Know that the world out there reflects your reality in here.
Monday, June 11, 2007
Finding Pleasure, Meaning and Life's Ultimate Currency
Can we learn to be happier? Yes, says Harvard's top happiness guru - Tal Ben-Shahar
Happiness shouldn’t just be a “nice to have” or a “I’ll be happy when/if.” Achieving day-to-day happiness really does matter and has an impact on every aspect of our life. Research proves that happy individuals have better relationships, are more likely to thrive at work, as well as live better and longer. Happiness, as Ben-Shahar demonstrates, is life’s “Ultimate Currency.”
Some of the ways we can become Happier include:
* Create an integrity mirror. Find out how you can increase your personal integrity, lead a more authentic – and hence happier – life.
* Identify the things that give your life pleasure and meaning, things that you enjoy doing and that provide you a sense of purpose.
* Simplify your life; ask yourself what you can give up. What can you say “no” to? Commit to decreasing the busy-ness in your life, and through that increasing your happiness.
* Consider the pursuits that challenge you and fulfil your potential.
* Identify your “happiness boosters” – the brief activities that rejuvenate you by providing both meaning and pleasure. Small changes can have significant consequences.
* Ritualise times during which you dedicate yourself fully to things that make you happy – each day and every week.
* Create a “happiness map” to increase our time spent on activities and people that afford you the ultimate currency.
* Generate short-term goals that align with long-term plans.
* Regularly take stock of the things for which you are grateful – large and small.
* Identify external, as well as internal, factors that are stopping you from finding happiness.
* Recognise that happiness, not money or prestige, is the ultimate currency – the currency by which we ought to take measure of our lives.
Happiness shouldn’t just be a “nice to have” or a “I’ll be happy when/if.” Achieving day-to-day happiness really does matter and has an impact on every aspect of our life. Research proves that happy individuals have better relationships, are more likely to thrive at work, as well as live better and longer. Happiness, as Ben-Shahar demonstrates, is life’s “Ultimate Currency.”
Some of the ways we can become Happier include:
* Create an integrity mirror. Find out how you can increase your personal integrity, lead a more authentic – and hence happier – life.
* Identify the things that give your life pleasure and meaning, things that you enjoy doing and that provide you a sense of purpose.
* Simplify your life; ask yourself what you can give up. What can you say “no” to? Commit to decreasing the busy-ness in your life, and through that increasing your happiness.
* Consider the pursuits that challenge you and fulfil your potential.
* Identify your “happiness boosters” – the brief activities that rejuvenate you by providing both meaning and pleasure. Small changes can have significant consequences.
* Ritualise times during which you dedicate yourself fully to things that make you happy – each day and every week.
* Create a “happiness map” to increase our time spent on activities and people that afford you the ultimate currency.
* Generate short-term goals that align with long-term plans.
* Regularly take stock of the things for which you are grateful – large and small.
* Identify external, as well as internal, factors that are stopping you from finding happiness.
* Recognise that happiness, not money or prestige, is the ultimate currency – the currency by which we ought to take measure of our lives.
Tuesday, June 5, 2007
3 keys to a happy and fulfilled life
from
Everyone that I have ever met wants to live a happy and fulfilled life. I am sure that you are one of those people as well. By now you have probably realised that wanting a happy and fulfilled life and actually having one is the same thing. So, to help you have, and not just want a happy life, here are 3 keys to guide you on your way.
1. Don't live according to others expectations.
One of the worst things that you can do is live according to someone else's expectations of what your life ought to be. If you are always trying to live up to someone's idea of what your life should be, you will be very unhappy. From now on make your own expectations for your life and stop worrying what other people think about you.
2. Follow your heart.
I have met so many people that have told me that they are not doing what they really want to in life. In fact, many of these people hate what they do. The odds are that you feel the same way in your life. If you really want to be happy and fulfilled you have to follow your heart and live your dreams. Besides, how in the world do you think you can live a happy and fulfilled life if you do something you hate?
3. Be the director of your life.
It's time to take the reigns of you life and start driving it where you want it to go instead of just letting life take you where it wants to. Life can be great but only if you are the master of it. If you let life control you then you will find that life can be a cruel master. Your life was meant for you to control, not the other way around.
Everyone that I have ever met wants to live a happy and fulfilled life. I am sure that you are one of those people as well. By now you have probably realised that wanting a happy and fulfilled life and actually having one is the same thing. So, to help you have, and not just want a happy life, here are 3 keys to guide you on your way.
1. Don't live according to others expectations.
One of the worst things that you can do is live according to someone else's expectations of what your life ought to be. If you are always trying to live up to someone's idea of what your life should be, you will be very unhappy. From now on make your own expectations for your life and stop worrying what other people think about you.
2. Follow your heart.
I have met so many people that have told me that they are not doing what they really want to in life. In fact, many of these people hate what they do. The odds are that you feel the same way in your life. If you really want to be happy and fulfilled you have to follow your heart and live your dreams. Besides, how in the world do you think you can live a happy and fulfilled life if you do something you hate?
3. Be the director of your life.
It's time to take the reigns of you life and start driving it where you want it to go instead of just letting life take you where it wants to. Life can be great but only if you are the master of it. If you let life control you then you will find that life can be a cruel master. Your life was meant for you to control, not the other way around.
Create Happiness
"Create all the happiness you are able to create: remove all the misery you are able to remove. Every day will allow you to add something to the pleasure of others, or to diminish something of their pains. And for every grain of enjoyment you sow in the bosom of another, you shall find a harvest in your own bosom; while every sorrow which you pluck out from the thoughts and feelings of a fellow creature shall be replaced by beautiful peace and joy in the sanctuary of your soul."
--Jeremy Bentham
--Jeremy Bentham
Monday, June 4, 2007
The Collapse of the Consumer Advertising Industry
chaotica by Stefanie Sigurdson: The Rise of True Happiness :
"The whole advertising industry and consumer society would collapes if people became enlightened and no longer sought to find their identity through things. Nothing out there will ever satisfy you except temporarily and superficially, but you may need to experience many disillusionments before you realize that truth."
"The whole advertising industry and consumer society would collapes if people became enlightened and no longer sought to find their identity through things. Nothing out there will ever satisfy you except temporarily and superficially, but you may need to experience many disillusionments before you realize that truth."
Sunday, June 3, 2007
Happiness at Climb to the Stars
blog entry by Stephanie Booth onReboot9 — Alexander Kjerulf
To be human is to be happier. No species has such a capacity to be happy (and unhappy!) as humans.
Has been helping make people happier at work.
Chief Happiness Officer
The Chief Happiness Officer
What is happiness? Let’s ask Google.
Happiness is the most important thing in life. 50% genetic (cf. twin studies). We have control over the other half. Pick something you really want. Ask “why?” a few times, and you’ll end up with “because that makes me happy”.
This proves we are here to be happy. Everything we want is because in some way, it will make us happy. Happiness is the most basic “why”.
Happy people:
* have more friends
* are healthier (better immune system)
* live longer
* suffer fewer depressions
* are more successful.
Happiness is really easy. Epicurus: all you need to be happy is easy to get. Friendship, contemplation…
Martin Seligman: Happiness can be learned. Founder of positive psychology.
Happiness is…
* not eternal (there will be bad days)
* your responsibility
* your choice (happiness does not depend on what happens to us… completely — it’s more about how we react to what happens to us, and what we choose to do about it)
Myths about happiness:
* happy people are selfish — not so, happy people care more about others
* happy people are complacent — nope, it feels good to do good
* happiness is the absence of problems — nope, happy people in the world are not those who have no problems; Epicurus “The wise man is still happy amidst his torments”.
What makes us happy?
1. Friends, family and marriage — Love, actually.
2. Meaningful, enjoyable work
3. Living a good life, according to values that make sense to you.
Biggest threats to happiness:
* TV
* consumerism
These are links, because TV drives a lot of the consumerism. Introduction of TV in Bhutan in the 90s. Life satisfaction fell, suicide and depression rates climbed, clothing changed to what teenagers wear in the US. The news is not good on TV.
Guess where we spend most of our time: in front of TV and in the jobs that give us the money to support the consumerism.
1. sleep
2. work
3. TV
And TV is starting to overtake work. steph-note: don’t watch TV! throw it out! haven’t watched mine in 6 months, and much happier :-) .
Scary thing: average British working parent spends 19 minutes per day with kids.
We tend to not know what makes us happy. “I’ll be happy when…” We are goalaholics. Book: Goal-Free Living. Start by being happy, instead of “being happy when”.
The dangers of seeking happiness: two major things can go wrong.
1. Emptiness
Nothing to strive for, suddenly life is all too easy. If I’m not happy there must be something wrong with me. One area of research has really been revolutionized by happiness: economics. They should run Britain based on making the British has happy as possible, rather than growth. In Bhutan: growth of national happiness. Denmark: happiest country on earth. There is a correlation between GNP and happiness, but… USA/Puerto Rico: same happiness, different GNP.
1. Subversiveness
Happy people are the greatest danger to some of the structures that are holding us back. If you’re really happy, you don’t give a sht. You don’t fall for scare politics. *steph-note: yes! yes! You don’t fall for consumerism either (”you’ll be happier if you drive this SUV”). You don’t fall for the corporate crap either, or the self-help, the cults and the gurus, religion…
Simple things you can do to be happier:
* gratitude visit
* write down three good things about your day today
* throw out your TV
Less simple things:
* put happiness first in your life (career and consumerism second!)
* know yourself (what makes you happy/unhappy?)
* base your work on happiness
Wrap-up:
1. we’re here to be happy
2. happiness is easy
3. we tend not to know what makes us happy
4. happiness is subversive and that’s how we’re going to change the world.
To be human is to be happier. No species has such a capacity to be happy (and unhappy!) as humans.
Has been helping make people happier at work.
Chief Happiness Officer
The Chief Happiness Officer
What is happiness? Let’s ask Google.
Happiness is the most important thing in life. 50% genetic (cf. twin studies). We have control over the other half. Pick something you really want. Ask “why?” a few times, and you’ll end up with “because that makes me happy”.
This proves we are here to be happy. Everything we want is because in some way, it will make us happy. Happiness is the most basic “why”.
Happy people:
* have more friends
* are healthier (better immune system)
* live longer
* suffer fewer depressions
* are more successful.
Happiness is really easy. Epicurus: all you need to be happy is easy to get. Friendship, contemplation…
Martin Seligman: Happiness can be learned. Founder of positive psychology.
Happiness is…
* not eternal (there will be bad days)
* your responsibility
* your choice (happiness does not depend on what happens to us… completely — it’s more about how we react to what happens to us, and what we choose to do about it)
Myths about happiness:
* happy people are selfish — not so, happy people care more about others
* happy people are complacent — nope, it feels good to do good
* happiness is the absence of problems — nope, happy people in the world are not those who have no problems; Epicurus “The wise man is still happy amidst his torments”.
What makes us happy?
1. Friends, family and marriage — Love, actually.
2. Meaningful, enjoyable work
3. Living a good life, according to values that make sense to you.
Biggest threats to happiness:
* TV
* consumerism
These are links, because TV drives a lot of the consumerism. Introduction of TV in Bhutan in the 90s. Life satisfaction fell, suicide and depression rates climbed, clothing changed to what teenagers wear in the US. The news is not good on TV.
Guess where we spend most of our time: in front of TV and in the jobs that give us the money to support the consumerism.
1. sleep
2. work
3. TV
And TV is starting to overtake work. steph-note: don’t watch TV! throw it out! haven’t watched mine in 6 months, and much happier :-) .
Scary thing: average British working parent spends 19 minutes per day with kids.
We tend to not know what makes us happy. “I’ll be happy when…” We are goalaholics. Book: Goal-Free Living. Start by being happy, instead of “being happy when”.
The dangers of seeking happiness: two major things can go wrong.
1. Emptiness
Nothing to strive for, suddenly life is all too easy. If I’m not happy there must be something wrong with me. One area of research has really been revolutionized by happiness: economics. They should run Britain based on making the British has happy as possible, rather than growth. In Bhutan: growth of national happiness. Denmark: happiest country on earth. There is a correlation between GNP and happiness, but… USA/Puerto Rico: same happiness, different GNP.
1. Subversiveness
Happy people are the greatest danger to some of the structures that are holding us back. If you’re really happy, you don’t give a sht. You don’t fall for scare politics. *steph-note: yes! yes! You don’t fall for consumerism either (”you’ll be happier if you drive this SUV”). You don’t fall for the corporate crap either, or the self-help, the cults and the gurus, religion…
Simple things you can do to be happier:
* gratitude visit
* write down three good things about your day today
* throw out your TV
Less simple things:
* put happiness first in your life (career and consumerism second!)
* know yourself (what makes you happy/unhappy?)
* base your work on happiness
Wrap-up:
1. we’re here to be happy
2. happiness is easy
3. we tend not to know what makes us happy
4. happiness is subversive and that’s how we’re going to change the world.
An Insider's Look At The Benefits Of Karate
from
Karate consists of self-defense practices and an entire way of life that gives students an approach to continual self improvement. It can be practiced simply by visualizing its movements within the mind, without involving any actual physical activity. In this way, it gives students the means to manage their everyday lives with discipline and focus.
For students who have learned karate, its unique marriage of technique, physical, mental and emotional conditioning became an integral part of their lives. Studying karate will help you continue to hone not just your mental and emotional skills but also your entire being...
Karate encourages combat without weaponry, but it also encourages peaceful existence. Rather than focusing on extraneous or unnecessary details, (including mind chatter), karate encourages students to focus on the heart of the matter at hand. After all, the mind itself is a karate student's most powerful asset because it encompasses not only students' ability to think, but also houses instinctual responses and one's connection to soul.
At Tetsu Shin Dojo, our student creed is as follows:
One: To strive for the perfection of character
One: To defend the paths of truth.
One: To foster the spirit of effort
One: To honor the principles of courtesy
One: To guard against impetuous courage
We encourage students not to strive for the belt, but for the KNOWLEDGE that the belt represents. In the earlier times, the intensity of one's training was represented by the dirt on one's white belt. The longer and the more intensely the student trained, the darker his belt became until the white belt, which was the beginning, became the black belt of a hard-training teacher.
Karate connects the mind, body and soul, so that all three can be used as one exquisite tool as one makes one's way through life.
Karate consists of self-defense practices and an entire way of life that gives students an approach to continual self improvement. It can be practiced simply by visualizing its movements within the mind, without involving any actual physical activity. In this way, it gives students the means to manage their everyday lives with discipline and focus.
For students who have learned karate, its unique marriage of technique, physical, mental and emotional conditioning became an integral part of their lives. Studying karate will help you continue to hone not just your mental and emotional skills but also your entire being...
Karate encourages combat without weaponry, but it also encourages peaceful existence. Rather than focusing on extraneous or unnecessary details, (including mind chatter), karate encourages students to focus on the heart of the matter at hand. After all, the mind itself is a karate student's most powerful asset because it encompasses not only students' ability to think, but also houses instinctual responses and one's connection to soul.
At Tetsu Shin Dojo, our student creed is as follows:
One: To strive for the perfection of character
One: To defend the paths of truth.
One: To foster the spirit of effort
One: To honor the principles of courtesy
One: To guard against impetuous courage
We encourage students not to strive for the belt, but for the KNOWLEDGE that the belt represents. In the earlier times, the intensity of one's training was represented by the dirt on one's white belt. The longer and the more intensely the student trained, the darker his belt became until the white belt, which was the beginning, became the black belt of a hard-training teacher.
Karate connects the mind, body and soul, so that all three can be used as one exquisite tool as one makes one's way through life.
Learning how to be happy
from AM New York
Quick! Ask yourself: Why do you want to make lots money?
Your most-likely answer: to be happy, damn it!
advertisement
But does more money really lead to more happiness? Not according to Daniel Kahneman, a psychology professor at the University of Princeton.
"Standard of living has increased dramatically and happiness has increased not at all, and in some cases has diminished slightly," he says.
Interestingly, Bhutan, a remote Himalayan kingdom, has consistently remained one of the world's happiest countries – even though it is not close to being one of the richest.
Their secret?
Their government creates policies based on Gross National Happiness.
This includes:
1. Banning advertising. The science of happiness shows advertising is a major cause of unhappiness because it creates envy by making people feel less "well-off."
2. Pushing for more exercise and healthier eating. In fact, the Bhutan government actually discourages junk food, along with cigarettes and alcohol. They recognize that the healthier the body, the happier the mind!
The idea that politics should be about providing happiness to the greatest number of people isn't new. Jeremy Bentham, an 18th century philosopher, tried to get politicians to create policies to increase citizens' general happiness levels.
Recently, Bentham's ideas have been dusted off and revisited in Britain, where the Prime Minister's Strategy Unit held a life satisfaction seminar and considered the following concepts:
1. creating a happiness index
2. teaching people about happiness
3. encouraging more support for volunteering
4. creating a "more leisured work-life balance"
5. creating higher taxes for the rich – so there'd be less of a division between the very rich and very poor -- thereby reducing envy and its depressive affects.
Britain's Richard Layard, author of "Happiness: Lessons from a New Science" is also actively pushing the British government to employ another 10,000 therapists in order to increase the happiness of its citizens.
With all this in mind, I'd like to send out a general advisory to all office workers reading this column. Stop focusing on how much money you're making, and re-focus on how much happiness you're making.
If you're not sure how, I've provided a tip sheet (it's more rewarding than your bank statement, I guarantee).
1. Avoid poison envy. Consistently, studies show comparing oneself to others kills happiness. Instead, consciously re-focus on what you have, and try to end your day with a list of three things that went well today.
2. Spend loving time with friends and family – it will improve your happiness and your health. Why? Studies show friendship wards off germs.
3. Live a life with meaning and purpose. Do this by learning to appreciate how what you do in your job -- and contribute to your friends, family and community -- all matters. Look for new ways to give back to the people around you. Studies consistently show that people who actively volunteer are a happier group.
4. Keep trying to use your signature strength in new ways. It will increase your self-esteem – which in turn increases happiness.
Quick! Ask yourself: Why do you want to make lots money?
Your most-likely answer: to be happy, damn it!
advertisement
But does more money really lead to more happiness? Not according to Daniel Kahneman, a psychology professor at the University of Princeton.
"Standard of living has increased dramatically and happiness has increased not at all, and in some cases has diminished slightly," he says.
Interestingly, Bhutan, a remote Himalayan kingdom, has consistently remained one of the world's happiest countries – even though it is not close to being one of the richest.
Their secret?
Their government creates policies based on Gross National Happiness.
This includes:
1. Banning advertising. The science of happiness shows advertising is a major cause of unhappiness because it creates envy by making people feel less "well-off."
2. Pushing for more exercise and healthier eating. In fact, the Bhutan government actually discourages junk food, along with cigarettes and alcohol. They recognize that the healthier the body, the happier the mind!
The idea that politics should be about providing happiness to the greatest number of people isn't new. Jeremy Bentham, an 18th century philosopher, tried to get politicians to create policies to increase citizens' general happiness levels.
Recently, Bentham's ideas have been dusted off and revisited in Britain, where the Prime Minister's Strategy Unit held a life satisfaction seminar and considered the following concepts:
1. creating a happiness index
2. teaching people about happiness
3. encouraging more support for volunteering
4. creating a "more leisured work-life balance"
5. creating higher taxes for the rich – so there'd be less of a division between the very rich and very poor -- thereby reducing envy and its depressive affects.
Britain's Richard Layard, author of "Happiness: Lessons from a New Science" is also actively pushing the British government to employ another 10,000 therapists in order to increase the happiness of its citizens.
With all this in mind, I'd like to send out a general advisory to all office workers reading this column. Stop focusing on how much money you're making, and re-focus on how much happiness you're making.
If you're not sure how, I've provided a tip sheet (it's more rewarding than your bank statement, I guarantee).
1. Avoid poison envy. Consistently, studies show comparing oneself to others kills happiness. Instead, consciously re-focus on what you have, and try to end your day with a list of three things that went well today.
2. Spend loving time with friends and family – it will improve your happiness and your health. Why? Studies show friendship wards off germs.
3. Live a life with meaning and purpose. Do this by learning to appreciate how what you do in your job -- and contribute to your friends, family and community -- all matters. Look for new ways to give back to the people around you. Studies consistently show that people who actively volunteer are a happier group.
4. Keep trying to use your signature strength in new ways. It will increase your self-esteem – which in turn increases happiness.
Happiness is what we call living
from
Hecht is the author of The Happiness Myth: Why What We Think is Right is Wrong, which traces the history of happiness and the lengths we've gone to in its pursuit.
What's really neat is the formula Hecht has devised for how different types of happiness must be balanced.
First, there is "good day" happiness, in which people experience usually forgettable mild pleasures and rewarding efforts. Next there is "euphoria," which is intense and memorable happiness – usually the result of drug taking, extreme sports or really good sex. (Occasionally, it can be the result of all three at once.)
Finally there is "happy life" happiness. This entails a lot of difficult work – studying, nurturing, striving, birthing – and we all know that stuff can interfere with getting a little euphoria, or even having a good day.
That last bit gets to the heart of the matter. Hecht says all three types of happiness are vital components of a happy life, but are rarely in harmony with another.
Have some druggy euphoria and you start risking your capacity for having a good day tomorrow. Experience too much euphoria and you risk finding that happy life happiness on the back burner – perhaps with the pilot light out.
This is not a problem for most of us, says Hecht. Our culture prizes productivity so much that euphoria has been all but squeezed out.
Hecht's discussion of euphoria and its relation to happiness is not limited to drugs. Her book is divided into four parts – drugs, bodies, money and celebrations – and is a wonderful history of how our conception of each of these things has intersected with our cultural notion of happiness.
She comes out strongly in favour of humanity's long tradition of celebration and festivals, suggesting we should reaffirm the importance of such communal gatherings as parties and parades. Even the cheesy conga line at a wedding, she advises, should be joined at every opportunity, since it has a nearly 100 per-cent success rate at inducing euphoric happiness – the spice of life.
So, how should we get happy?
Hecht says we need to figure out what makes for a happy life – on an individual level. Everyone's list will be different, but most want some combination of the following: family, friendships, study, money in the bank, adventure, travel, community service, celebrations, plus a great many good days and even some euphoria too.
Hecht is the author of The Happiness Myth: Why What We Think is Right is Wrong, which traces the history of happiness and the lengths we've gone to in its pursuit.
What's really neat is the formula Hecht has devised for how different types of happiness must be balanced.
First, there is "good day" happiness, in which people experience usually forgettable mild pleasures and rewarding efforts. Next there is "euphoria," which is intense and memorable happiness – usually the result of drug taking, extreme sports or really good sex. (Occasionally, it can be the result of all three at once.)
Finally there is "happy life" happiness. This entails a lot of difficult work – studying, nurturing, striving, birthing – and we all know that stuff can interfere with getting a little euphoria, or even having a good day.
That last bit gets to the heart of the matter. Hecht says all three types of happiness are vital components of a happy life, but are rarely in harmony with another.
Have some druggy euphoria and you start risking your capacity for having a good day tomorrow. Experience too much euphoria and you risk finding that happy life happiness on the back burner – perhaps with the pilot light out.
This is not a problem for most of us, says Hecht. Our culture prizes productivity so much that euphoria has been all but squeezed out.
Hecht's discussion of euphoria and its relation to happiness is not limited to drugs. Her book is divided into four parts – drugs, bodies, money and celebrations – and is a wonderful history of how our conception of each of these things has intersected with our cultural notion of happiness.
She comes out strongly in favour of humanity's long tradition of celebration and festivals, suggesting we should reaffirm the importance of such communal gatherings as parties and parades. Even the cheesy conga line at a wedding, she advises, should be joined at every opportunity, since it has a nearly 100 per-cent success rate at inducing euphoric happiness – the spice of life.
So, how should we get happy?
Hecht says we need to figure out what makes for a happy life – on an individual level. Everyone's list will be different, but most want some combination of the following: family, friendships, study, money in the bank, adventure, travel, community service, celebrations, plus a great many good days and even some euphoria too.
The Meaning of Life by Terry Eagleton
from the Houston Chronicle
British critic Terry Eagleton is perhaps the only Marxist intellectual ever to demonstrate a sense of humor, a fact that automatically earns him points with me. And he wields that wit to good effect in his new book as he tackles the biggest question of all: What is the meaning of life?
No, the title is not ironic. In this slight, 187-page book Eagleton makes a persuasive case for a particular idea of life's meaning. That meaning — I'll get to it shortly — won't come as a grand new revelation. Don't expect to be tapped on the shoulder by the Angel Moroni or struck by lightning like Saul on the road to Damascus. Eagleton recalls the joke in Douglas Adams' Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy about how a computer labored 7 million years to work out the secret of the universe and finally came back with the answer "42." Eagleton's own solution to the meaning-of-life question is far less gnomic.
Although he's not a philosopher — he's a professor of English at the University of Manchester — he begins in proper philosopher fashion. Instead of answering the question, he analyzes it: Is the question itself meaningful or just another example of our bewitchment by language? What do we mean by "meaning" and "life"? Have people always been plagued by the question or is this something peculiar to modernity?
Pre-modern people likely weren't as anguished as we, he writes, "not only because their religious practices were less up for question but because their social practices were less problematic, as well. ... The idea that there could be a meaning to your life which was peculiar to you, quite different from the meaning of other people's lives, would not have mustered many votes."
In an argument that's hardly original but doubtless true, he says the question has become so insistent for us because of the crisis of religious faith that began in the late 19th century, coupled with the horrors of war and mass murder in the 20th century.
In setting the table for his own theory, he takes aim at competitors. He attacks the religious notion that God gives the world meaning and that if you deny God, you're saying the world is a meaningless place.
"The cosmos may not have been consciously designed, and is almost certainly not struggling to say something, but it is not just chaotic, either," he writes. "On the contrary, its underlying laws reveal a beauty, symmetry, and economy that are capable of moving scientists to tears. The idea that the world is either given meaning by God, or is utterly random and absurd, is a false antithesis."
Nor will he have any truck with postmodernists and "constructivists" who say life means whatever we say it means and one man's opinion is just as good as another's. "Meaning, to be sure, is something people do; but they do it in dialogue with a determinate world whose laws they did not invent, and if their meanings are to be valid, they must respect this world's grain and texture."
When the time comes to advance his own cause, Eagleton conjures up the shade of Aristotle, for whom happiness was the end and purpose of human life. But neither for Aristotle nor for Eagleton is happiness synonymous with mere pleasure or bovine contentment.
"Happiness for Aristotle is attained by virtue, and virtue is above all a social practice rather than an attitude of mind. Happiness is part of a practical way of life."
Eagleton likes the idea that the meaning of life involves acting and interacting with other people — that ethics and politics and happiness are bound up together. But he's put off by the type of society Aristotle seems to admire and think requisite for a meaningful life, namely "one well-supplied with slaves and subjected women, to do the donkey-work while you yourself sally forth to pursue the life of excellence."
Eagleton's left-wing leanings assert themselves, but interestingly in conceptual garb that harkens to the New Testament (Eagleton grew up in a working-class, Irish-Catholic household).
Nobody ever accused Aristotle of being lovable, and you've got to have love. Not erotic love but agape, the love for your fellows, even those who persecute you. Such love "is a practice or way of life, not a state of mind," Eagleton writes.
Mutual support becomes the key to our own individual fulfillment, he says. "For love means creating for another the space in which he might flourish, at the same time as he does this for you. The fulfillment of each becomes the ground for the fulfillment of the other. When we realize our nature in this way, we are at our best."
To this he adds another big dollop of Marx — "[S]ince there can be no true reciprocity except among equals, oppression and inequality are in the long run self-thwarting as well." And he takes a pop at American-style laissez-faire individualism — "All this is at odds with the liberal model of society, for which it is enough if my unequally individual flourishing is protected from interference by others."
In a final arresting metaphor Eagleton likens the good life to a jazz ensemble. Jazz musicians improvise, each doing his or her own thing. But they also play off each other, inspire each other, contribute to an evolving, coherent whole. Self-expression and self-fulfillment serve "the greater good of the whole." Individual happiness and collective happiness are two sides of one coin.
There you have it. The meaning of life.
Regardless of whether you agree with him, you'll find yourself challenged by this little book. Some of the material, particularly the parsing of words like "meaning" and "life," can grow tiresome. And he goes on too long about Samuel Beckett.
But his touch is light, the explanations almost always lucid, the viewpoint humane. And if Eagleton's not to your taste, you can always turn to Monty Python.
British critic Terry Eagleton is perhaps the only Marxist intellectual ever to demonstrate a sense of humor, a fact that automatically earns him points with me. And he wields that wit to good effect in his new book as he tackles the biggest question of all: What is the meaning of life?
No, the title is not ironic. In this slight, 187-page book Eagleton makes a persuasive case for a particular idea of life's meaning. That meaning — I'll get to it shortly — won't come as a grand new revelation. Don't expect to be tapped on the shoulder by the Angel Moroni or struck by lightning like Saul on the road to Damascus. Eagleton recalls the joke in Douglas Adams' Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy about how a computer labored 7 million years to work out the secret of the universe and finally came back with the answer "42." Eagleton's own solution to the meaning-of-life question is far less gnomic.
Although he's not a philosopher — he's a professor of English at the University of Manchester — he begins in proper philosopher fashion. Instead of answering the question, he analyzes it: Is the question itself meaningful or just another example of our bewitchment by language? What do we mean by "meaning" and "life"? Have people always been plagued by the question or is this something peculiar to modernity?
Pre-modern people likely weren't as anguished as we, he writes, "not only because their religious practices were less up for question but because their social practices were less problematic, as well. ... The idea that there could be a meaning to your life which was peculiar to you, quite different from the meaning of other people's lives, would not have mustered many votes."
In an argument that's hardly original but doubtless true, he says the question has become so insistent for us because of the crisis of religious faith that began in the late 19th century, coupled with the horrors of war and mass murder in the 20th century.
In setting the table for his own theory, he takes aim at competitors. He attacks the religious notion that God gives the world meaning and that if you deny God, you're saying the world is a meaningless place.
"The cosmos may not have been consciously designed, and is almost certainly not struggling to say something, but it is not just chaotic, either," he writes. "On the contrary, its underlying laws reveal a beauty, symmetry, and economy that are capable of moving scientists to tears. The idea that the world is either given meaning by God, or is utterly random and absurd, is a false antithesis."
Nor will he have any truck with postmodernists and "constructivists" who say life means whatever we say it means and one man's opinion is just as good as another's. "Meaning, to be sure, is something people do; but they do it in dialogue with a determinate world whose laws they did not invent, and if their meanings are to be valid, they must respect this world's grain and texture."
When the time comes to advance his own cause, Eagleton conjures up the shade of Aristotle, for whom happiness was the end and purpose of human life. But neither for Aristotle nor for Eagleton is happiness synonymous with mere pleasure or bovine contentment.
"Happiness for Aristotle is attained by virtue, and virtue is above all a social practice rather than an attitude of mind. Happiness is part of a practical way of life."
Eagleton likes the idea that the meaning of life involves acting and interacting with other people — that ethics and politics and happiness are bound up together. But he's put off by the type of society Aristotle seems to admire and think requisite for a meaningful life, namely "one well-supplied with slaves and subjected women, to do the donkey-work while you yourself sally forth to pursue the life of excellence."
Eagleton's left-wing leanings assert themselves, but interestingly in conceptual garb that harkens to the New Testament (Eagleton grew up in a working-class, Irish-Catholic household).
Nobody ever accused Aristotle of being lovable, and you've got to have love. Not erotic love but agape, the love for your fellows, even those who persecute you. Such love "is a practice or way of life, not a state of mind," Eagleton writes.
Mutual support becomes the key to our own individual fulfillment, he says. "For love means creating for another the space in which he might flourish, at the same time as he does this for you. The fulfillment of each becomes the ground for the fulfillment of the other. When we realize our nature in this way, we are at our best."
To this he adds another big dollop of Marx — "[S]ince there can be no true reciprocity except among equals, oppression and inequality are in the long run self-thwarting as well." And he takes a pop at American-style laissez-faire individualism — "All this is at odds with the liberal model of society, for which it is enough if my unequally individual flourishing is protected from interference by others."
In a final arresting metaphor Eagleton likens the good life to a jazz ensemble. Jazz musicians improvise, each doing his or her own thing. But they also play off each other, inspire each other, contribute to an evolving, coherent whole. Self-expression and self-fulfillment serve "the greater good of the whole." Individual happiness and collective happiness are two sides of one coin.
There you have it. The meaning of life.
Regardless of whether you agree with him, you'll find yourself challenged by this little book. Some of the material, particularly the parsing of words like "meaning" and "life," can grow tiresome. And he goes on too long about Samuel Beckett.
But his touch is light, the explanations almost always lucid, the viewpoint humane. And if Eagleton's not to your taste, you can always turn to Monty Python.
Meaning vs Happiness
from
There is NO mystery to happiness.
Unhappy men are all alike. Some wound they suffered long ago, some wish denied, some blow to pride, some kindling spark of love put out by scorn – or worse, indifference – cleaves to them, or they to it, and so they live each day within a shroud of yesterdays. The happy man does not look back. He doesn’t look ahead. He lives in the present.
But there’s the rub. The present can never deliver one thing: meaning. The ways of happiness and meaning are not the same. To find happiness, a man need only in the moment; he need only live for the moment. But if he wants meaning – the meaning of his dreams, his secrets, his life – a man must reinhabit his past, however dark, and live for the future, however uncertain. Thus nature dangles happiness and meaning before us all, insisting only that we choose between them.
There is NO mystery to happiness.
Unhappy men are all alike. Some wound they suffered long ago, some wish denied, some blow to pride, some kindling spark of love put out by scorn – or worse, indifference – cleaves to them, or they to it, and so they live each day within a shroud of yesterdays. The happy man does not look back. He doesn’t look ahead. He lives in the present.
But there’s the rub. The present can never deliver one thing: meaning. The ways of happiness and meaning are not the same. To find happiness, a man need only in the moment; he need only live for the moment. But if he wants meaning – the meaning of his dreams, his secrets, his life – a man must reinhabit his past, however dark, and live for the future, however uncertain. Thus nature dangles happiness and meaning before us all, insisting only that we choose between them.
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